Articulating well on your first date

Going on a first date can be intimidating. For the ladies, you probably change out of your outfit at least three times because your tummy shows when you’re sitting. For the gentlemen, you worry if you would blow your budget. And you worry that your date won’t be returning the favor at the end of the night.

Of course, these are the least of your concerns. Your feelings toward your date are genuine and not hormonal. You dress to impress, and you make you have all the swag you need. Reservations are made at the most exquisite restaurant. The waiter has come and is gone, and now you have to make a meaningful conversation.

The moment has come to put your charisma to test. The topic on foie gras has already been touched on. You realize your good looks are of no use now. Personality actually counts as a quality now! “Am I going to say the wrong thing?”

Fret not. Swagger Essentials is here to coach you on how to speak well.

Now remember, our definition of “swagger” is different from that of the dictionary. We make swagger to be a positive thing. So, we don’t shoot off our mouths and think we’re cool for speaking our mind.

To us, speaking with swagger is to speak with confidence, and occasionally if not always, you make some sense. To us, the charismatic guy around is President Obama Barrack and not so much Lil’ Wayne.

When Obama speaks, we listen. It’s not because he is the President and has a crazy amount of authority over us. We don’t snooze like we do when John Mccain speaks. Obama’s words ring like music to us and his undue amount of charisma makes us go gay, I mean, gaga, over him.

Michelle Obama is certainly the epitome of charisma for the women. From her great smile to her elegant poise, her swagger charms us. She has a disposition that makes you want to bring her home to Mama, because you know Mama will approve. Her undue amount of charisma makes us go gay, I mean, gaga, over her.

You too can have charisma like our first black President and his wife. Of course, at this point in time, we are not going to groom you into becoming a political speaker. We will tell you the dating faux pas to avoid, and how to charm the socks off your dates with your mouth.

No, not that technique. That is for a later topic.

NEVER

1) Tell a rehearsed joke.

Humor falls flat when it is rehearsed. Instead of focusing your attention on your date, you’re waiting for a good time to bring forth the jokes. Your mind is not registering whatever he/she says, because you are waiting to ambush your date.

Not only will your joke be not funny, you would have missed out on crucial personal information, such as financial wealth and sexual fetishes.

And you aggravate the situation by explaining your joke.

“You see my point? Foie gras? Tongue? Frenching? It’s like I’m frenching a duck?”

And you get increasingly nervous because your date is looking at you in a disdainful manner.

Instead of trying too hard, make a harmless joke whenever the situation allows you to. Mispronounce the dish’s name if you like; just be sure to follow up with the right pronunciation to let him/her know you’re joking. You don’t want your date to think you’re dumb.


2) Talk about an unfamiliar topic

Just because you’re seeing a financial analyst doesn’t mean you now have to wax lyrical about the economy. You begin inputting your two cents worth just because you took a peek at the news headline.

“Oh yeah, Obama ‘bare-rack’ really shouldn’t have done that.”

“What shouldn’t he have done?”

“You know, that thing … with the …. tax revenue…? ”

Stammering is not cool. It is the complete opposite of swagger.

Remember, swagger is about being who you are. You don’t have to pretend to be interested in finances if you are not. It is your date you are interested in. Ask about his exciting moments working as a financial analyst. Get her advice on managing YOUR finances.



3) Trash talk (about your boss, exes, your Mom, anyone)

Swagger is all about keeping cool. So imagine your look when you’re going on relentlessly about your bitch of a superior who gives you hell. You’re radiating a lot of fiery heat. And in a heat of moment, you lose your ability to speak coherently.

“I mean ... She’s just so … I don’t know if I can say whether she’s like, you know, psychotic, because she has absolutely, definitely go to be one!”

Besides, it is not swagger-like to get worked up over things. It feels better to be angry, no doubt, but if you want to possess swagger, you need to take things in your stride. Never let anything, especially the trivial ones, get to you.


4) Swear in front of your date

Even if you are one of those who use double profanities in a sentence every minute of your life.

“Don’t you fucking fuck with me!”
We know, there’s a certain charm about the badass guys. They get the hot chicks, always. They don’t care what the world thinks of them because they live by their own rules. And swagger is all about dropping the act and being yourself, aye?

Yes and no. If you go by the old definition of swagger, then yes. Continue to live a life where everyone you cross pisses you off. Continue to spit on everything that is in your way. Soon, you will find yourself the least popular person around your social circle.

Our definition of swagger is about poise and intelligence. Why limit your vocabularies to profanities? When you can replace the fucking in “This is fucking nice!” with words like extremely and fiendishly, people look to you with incredulous eyes.

People would think, “This is one person worth listening to”.

So you choose between sounding like a 12 year old, or a dignified adult with language proficiency.

Hey, it’s your swagger, after all.