Pop Female Singers with Swagger

Women. We are all fascinated by them. Whether it is the clothes they wear or the words they speak, they pique our curiosity. Whether you are a hormonal frat boy, flamboyant gay man who just want to be like them, smart career woman, or straight up feminist, these leading ladies have style, attitude and confidence that appeal to you. Their charm is irresistible and their personality inspiring.

Here are Swagger Essentials’ picks for Pop Female Singers with Swagger. We worship the ground they walk.

p!nk September 8, 1979

Most notable quote: “It’s about being alive and feisty and not sitting down and shutting up even though people would like you to”

Best line ever: “But it’s alright, I don’t give a damn. I don’t play your rules, I make my own. Tonight, I do what I want, cuz’ I can”

Whether she’s dangerously singing off a trapeze or goofing around backstage, p!nk is one lady you can’t stop watching. From her daring hairstyle to her quirky personality, p!nk oozes swagger like no other. She is not defined by societal standards, and that’s why we love her.

Why she qualifies: Even since she exploded onto the music scene, p!nk has been touted as the tough chick around. She is probably the smartest of all her counterparts. Instead of singing fluff songs about having crushes on boys and giving sexual favours, she asks boys to pleasure themselves because they ain’t getting any from her. And if you haven’t heard her song, “Dear Mr. President”, an ‘ode’ to Mr. George W Bush, do yourself a favour and check it out.

We also love her recent monstrous hit, So What. And while this is a vengeful break up song, we like to think of it as our anthem. When our bosses are breathing down the throat, we secretly play the song in our head.

“So, so what? I’m still a rock star! I’ve got my rock moves and I don’t need you!!!” This line resonates with us the best. When life gets us down, do we spend our time moping and wallowing in rancour? No! We face up to the challenges and we dust off our problems. We continue living the life we want to.

That’s swagger. That’s success.

And hey, when you are smart enough to do a song about Stupid Girls, you’re on our cool list.

Britney Spears December 2, 1982

Most notable quote: I would like to be called an inspiration to people, not a role model - because I make mistakes like everybody else. When I'm offstage, I'm just like everybody else.

Best line ever: “It’s Britney, bitch”

She is the most photographed woman in the world. Every move of hers is documented, and she is living proof it’s not easy living the life of a spectacle. After a very public debacle, Britney Spears has risen from the ashes, and is now the shining phoenix we once loved.

Why she qualifies: While an unlikely choice; she doesn’t have the strongest vocals and the last time she sang live was probably in 2004, Britney is still selling out her Circus tour, gathering the support of the harshest critics. When you can sell out your concert without even singing one word, we're sold.

We have all read about her shady past and her constant battles. But even the most powerful person makes mistake. And that is what makes Britney personable.

And it takes a lot of guts to make a comeback when you have derailed so far off. After what she’s been through, it takes confidence to stand once again in the scrutiny of the masses. And we draw our inspiration from that.

Swagger is never letting the opinions of others get to you. Swagger is about believing in yourself and never backing down in the face of adversities. If you think you’re meant to do something in life, go all out and pursue it!

Lady Gaga March 28, 1986

Most notable quote: “You can’t have love and success. But that doesn’t bother me because I don’t want love, I want my music. I’m married to my art. You can only marry one man, so I’m married to my art”

Best line ever: “Check this hand cuz’ I’m marvellous”

With two consecutive Billboard number 1 hits on her hands, you must have heard of this 23 year old lady (gaga). The Just Dance singer first came to eminence playing at local clubs and malls, where she performed for many nights. So unlike other female celebrities we know (*cough* Paris Hilton *cough*), she didn’t have fame handed to her. She worked hard just like anyone of us and that is why she deserves the success.

Why she qualifies: It’s hard to miss Lady Gaga when she’s out rolling in the bustling roads of New York. The horde of paparazzi heralds her presence. Yet, she doesn’t need any extra fanfare. Lady Gaga just isn’t afraid to don on the weirdest outfits, so much so that you feel like it’s freaking Halloween whenever you see her candid pictures.

Whether she’s parading around in a leotard or taping a plaster across her nipple, Lady Gaga wears what she wants to. While many continue to frown disparagingly at her choice of clothes, you gotta give props to Lady Gaga for having the courage to be different.

And she isn’t being different just because it’s a way to be noticed. She wants to be different because she wants to be. And we celebrate her for that.

Madonna, August 16, 1958

Most notable quote: “I'm tough, ambitious, and I know exactly what I want. If that makes me a bitch, okay”

Best line ever: “You’re only here to win, get what they do”

If you don’t know Madonna, we really don’t know where the hell you have been the past 20 years. Long before the fore-mentioned ladies were even conceived, Madonna was already pushing boundaries and making headlines. We have to say we remember Madonna as the icon of our generation

Why she qualifies: She never takes no for an answer. She releases a Sex book to shut the critics up. Now, that’s the difference between a feminist and a porn star. She thinks before she speaks her mind, and that is why she has charisma.

The best way to get over a divorce? Hop on the cougar wagon and date younger men. It is a holy matrimony; the pairing of Madonna and her newest toy boy, Jesus. Hey! Who are we to judge if their relationship is indeed mutual?

Madonna constantly redefines social meanings, very much like how we redefine Swagger. And we can only hope we will still be jumping around and possess her kind of energy when we turn 50.

Check this space for our pick for Top Male celebrities with Swagger!

Balling on a budget, the SWAGGER way

So you went against your better judgment and you blew your salary on that $4000 Gucci leather bag. The kind of bag which emits the smell of the last species of an animal forced into extinction. Or you might have made a check payout on that Aston Martin DB 9 car even though your 2008 Lamborghini Gallardo was still banging, and in all sense of the word.

It happens! We all want to look good; we want to splurge a little (okay, a LOT) for all the hard work we’ve put in. We try our damnest to impress our exes and we want them to beg for our love again.

And you know that with each new acquisition comes a new friend. So it’s time to take the big guy and the dead out for a spin. You’re embarrassed by your limited cash flow. Yet, there is no parking lot big enough for an Aston Martin at a mall and your Gucci bag is not meant to come into contact with plywood.

But you can’t wait for your assets to meet your material friends. Don’t worry. Swagger Essentials will provide you with tips on How To Ball on a Budget – With Swagger.

1) Membership

Membership privileges give you all the perks you will ever need. Be it discounts or reward points, you are bound to reap the benefits of spending frugally. Having a membership with a fancy restaurant or retail shop is also a novelty. The waiters and sales persons address you by your first name. You are treated like royalty.

All this time while spending on a budget.

2) Happy hours

Twice the fun, two times less than the price. What better bargain can you ask for? With free flow of beer, alcohol and snacks, you can bring on the partying without a worry for your tabs. Let your inhibitions run free! Party like a rock star!

Psst: Just be sure to exit right before the promotion ends.

3) Cash that credit card

We have financial advisors breathing down our throats now. We know that many people have landed huge debts due to over-spending. We’ve caught Confessions of a Shopaholic. But credit cards are not the problem; frivolous spending is. And you will not fall into the deadly trap, because you are a person of swagger. You think before you act.

Banks have tie-in promotions with big names franchises and cashing your credit cards gives you access to these privileges. Besides, when you fish out that card right out of your wallet, you can be sure your vulture friends will gleam in envy.

4) Buffets

One of our favorite 7 deadly sins, gluttony, is going to help us in our quest to spend on a budget. A buffet meal helps to curb any future expenditure. We need not point out the obvious; food and drinks are taken care of. And dessert is aplenty, so you need not spend any more money on sweet delights.

After-dinner activities? Your friends will be too floated from the gorging that they won’t even be able to move an inch! That means the decision to catch movies will be scraped. That means you get to keep to your budget, again.

You drive them home in your Aston Martin and they will thank you for your good deed.

So there you have it, living on a budget the SWAGGER way.

For HER: How to work your way through a man's heart

For HER: Working your way through a man’s heart

So ladies, you’re out on a fun night with your girlfriends and you happen to bump into your ex high school crush in a cafe. Age has been kind to this man. He retains his swagger, his good looks and he is the center of the attention Yet, he doesn’t even look your way; he has his back facing you.

You excitedly consult your girlfriends and they give you the green light. You begin to mull over a couple of things. Is it okay if I approach him first? What would the world think of me?

Remember ladies, one of the best advantages you have is the upper hand. That is just God’s way of rewarding you for all that you need to endure. Even if your antic doesn’t work out, onlookers will still adulate you for your guts. Men don’t have it that easy; people just laugh at them for their vain efforts.

And this is the 21st century. Women have fought hard for their rights, and the men are listening. Women have proposed to their boyfriends. So if you are interested in someone, take charge! Some men will not appreciate your straight forwardness, so, it’s no loss! They aren’t the ones who are going to appreciate your success in your career anyway.

Men are pleasantly surprised when women make the first moves. And they welcome it. It’s refreshing to meet a lady who is self confident. Truth be told, many men out there whine about how their girlfriends don’t have an opinion.

“What do you want to eat?”

“I’ll have whatever you’re having!”

B-O-R-I-N-G

Yet of course, you don’t want to come on too strongly when approaching a man. Walking up to a guy and telling him drinks’ on you is not a good tactic. Men have something called ego, after all. The trick to hook a man is to be subtle. Let him know you’re interested and let him do the heavy lifting.

1) Make eye contact
Exchanging flirtatious glances is a sure way to get him to approach you. Steal a look, then look away, and then look at him again to let him know you’re watching him.

Men love to take on new conquests, and they prefer to take on sure-win conquests. Hey, it’s all about their pride. When you drop hints that you are interested too, you boast his confidence level. He then walks over and introduces himself.
It seems as if they’ve made the first move, but really, you made it happen.

2) Flash that million dollar smile

There’s nothing more beautiful than a genuine smile. When you are sulking and putting on an aloof front, it only tells the men to STAY CLEAR. Yet when you wear your best smile, you appear warm and friendly to the others.

Look at every female magazine and you’ll see that most models are smiling on the cover pages. A nice smile radiates elegance and poise. It gives the guy a feeling that you’re at ease with yourself. You’re not finding fault with anything.

The only model who doesn’t smile is Victoria Beckham. And we always feel like we could stuff her in a bag and put her away.

Of course by that, we don’t mean for you to smile for an entire hour. Just make sure when you’re looking in his way, you’re smiling.

3) Breaking the ice

Supposed he came over to you and bought you a drink. You two hit it off at once, and within 5 minutes, you already know that he is a real estate agent, he is the youngest of 3 brothers and he lives alone. Your mind is now rummaging through a list of plausible topics.

While it’s true that (heterosexual) men spend a great amount of time watching sports and seeking enlightenment on the latest gadgets, you don’t have to bore yourself with topics of such. Unless you have vast knowledge on the subject matter, he isn’t going to stay interested in the conversation if you are only trying to keep up with him.

Besides, you don’t want him to see you as his “buddy”, do you?

Instead, discuss at length recent news or the latest movies he watched. Don’t breathe down his throat if he doesn’t seem to know who Lady Gaga is. Sing to him the chorus of Poker Face. He would probably go, “Oh! That’s the song!”
He will be glad he learnt something new today and he have you to thank.

4) Compliments, compliments, compliments

If you decide to make the first move and approach the man of your fantasies, remember one word, three syllabuses. Compliments. Men LOVE compliments; in fact, they thrive on it. Compliments are the best way to get him to notice you. Well, that and cleavage.

Be generous with your praises but of course, mean it. “That’s a great shirt you have on. It accentuates your build!” doesn’t exactly work on an overweight guy. And if the conversation goes well, and if you find yourself enjoying yourself, tell him he’s a great conversationalist.

When you give compliments, you exude swagger. It shows that you’re a self assured person!

For HIM: How to Approach A Woman

For HIM: How to approach a woman

So your eyes meet with the most gorgeous woman in the room and the innocent glance sets your body temperature ablaze. The attraction is fatal; the rise of Johnny Junior tells you so. Ten other horny dogs are chatting her up, but you know she’s interested in you. That smile is unmistakeable.

Just how do you approach a woman you don’t know? You have no common grounds, and you don’t know if that smile she flashed was REALLY an approving one. Perhaps she was smiling at you because you had sauce on your mouth. Or she was really smiling at the guy standing behind you.

Breathe in swagger, breathe out swagger. Self doubt isn’t going to get you anywhere. Whether you’re interested in seeing her forever or seeing her one night naked in bed, you have got to make that move. Doesn’t matter if she rejects you; you can just walk away with swagger. Who knows, she might even come back to you after she realizes what a good sport you are.

If you decide to take the plunge, here are some tips you can keep in mind.


How to Approach A Woman the Swagger Essentials way.

1) Drop the cheesy pick up lines. Case in point: “You must be a thief because you stole my heart”
Whatever happened to good old fashion basic courtesy? Imagine if someone came up to you and said you had the most beautiful eyes any mother could ask for. Naturally, you jump to high defence mode because that is typical creepy stalker behaviour.

It might work in romantic comedy movies, where the male antagonist swoons over the female character with his tongue in cheek lines. But that is just fantasy. You’re more likely to be given a snub when you open with pick up lines.

Instead, formally introduce yourself. A simple hello is your best opening line. Jerry Mcguire, anyone? A man with natural swagger doesn’t need gimmicks to make an impression!

2) Create your own circumstances

So your target is surrounded by a pack of wolves. You think it’s better if you wait it out; wait for your chance and pull her aside. The night goes on and the other beasts come out and play. You should know best that men feed on ego. Their balls get bigger when the stakes are higher. If they see a crowd forming, that’s where they will be.

Be an opportunist! Nothing impresses a lady than a man with confidence. Women are attracted to men who are natural leaders. If you can swoop right in the middle of a conversation and then lead from there on, you can be sure her eyes will be on you.
It’s your chance to show the other men who is boss.

3) Sustaining her attention on you

Now that you have gotten her attention, it is imperative that you sustain it. Women are unlike men; they have a longer attention span. They are likely to fake a smile even when they’re not interested in your topic. Of course, there is a limit to that threshold and you will do well not to cross it.

How not to make a fool out of yourself? Keep to familiar territory when conversing. Personal experiences are best topics, unless of course you intend on telling a fabricated story about how you survived the Iraq war. Personal experiences help to paint a story and they sell your personality.

“I help out at the orphanage every weekend or whenever I can. The people there, their life stories are just so inspiring”

Even if your lady is not hooked, we are.

While it is swagger-like to be opinionated, you walk a precarious line when you try to impress your lady with your opinions. It might even turn out to be a bull fight when you’re trying to defend your opinions against the other gentlemen. What started out as a pleasant evening soon became a night of political extremist talk.
You’re not going to get your lady that way.

4) Look up, not down
Sure, her plunging neckline dress leaves little for imagination. We’re all dogs; we sneak a peek whenever we can. The average hooker might find your curiosity arousing. But not our woman of dignity; you might even find yourself to be the receiver of a very tight slap.

Let us break it down for you, aye? When you’re staring at her breasts, these things happen.

3.1) You get distracted.
“Err. Sure, I think Obama has great boobs!”
3.2) You get an erection. And erections in pants are the most uncomfortable.
3.3) It has been scientifically proven that men cannot multitask. So, you try to look away but you can’t. You begin to slur your words because your speech nerves are not functioning too well.

All these don’t constitute to swagger.



5) Asking for her number

So you managed to get the lady to notice you and you even managed to squeeze a couple of laughs out of her. You kept your eyes off her boobs as we have advised, and you felt the electrifying tension. You have ironed out the competition too!

It’s time to break for the night, and of course, you want to see this lady again. If she feels the same way, she would readily provide you with the number. Yet sometimes, you need to nudge her a little into doing so. This is where perseverance comes in.

Sell yourself just a little bit more. Reflect on your ‘performance’; if you have been a funny guy, remind her of that. And well, if you have been the best looking out of all the others, kid about how you’re the best looking guy.
The ladies like a little cockiness; not a lot, just a little and that is the only reason why they say “size doesn’t matter”.

Whatever the outcome, thank her for the lovely night and see her home. Because that’s what a gentleman would do.

Articulating well on your first date

Going on a first date can be intimidating. For the ladies, you probably change out of your outfit at least three times because your tummy shows when you’re sitting. For the gentlemen, you worry if you would blow your budget. And you worry that your date won’t be returning the favor at the end of the night.

Of course, these are the least of your concerns. Your feelings toward your date are genuine and not hormonal. You dress to impress, and you make you have all the swag you need. Reservations are made at the most exquisite restaurant. The waiter has come and is gone, and now you have to make a meaningful conversation.

The moment has come to put your charisma to test. The topic on foie gras has already been touched on. You realize your good looks are of no use now. Personality actually counts as a quality now! “Am I going to say the wrong thing?”

Fret not. Swagger Essentials is here to coach you on how to speak well.

Now remember, our definition of “swagger” is different from that of the dictionary. We make swagger to be a positive thing. So, we don’t shoot off our mouths and think we’re cool for speaking our mind.

To us, speaking with swagger is to speak with confidence, and occasionally if not always, you make some sense. To us, the charismatic guy around is President Obama Barrack and not so much Lil’ Wayne.

When Obama speaks, we listen. It’s not because he is the President and has a crazy amount of authority over us. We don’t snooze like we do when John Mccain speaks. Obama’s words ring like music to us and his undue amount of charisma makes us go gay, I mean, gaga, over him.

Michelle Obama is certainly the epitome of charisma for the women. From her great smile to her elegant poise, her swagger charms us. She has a disposition that makes you want to bring her home to Mama, because you know Mama will approve. Her undue amount of charisma makes us go gay, I mean, gaga, over her.

You too can have charisma like our first black President and his wife. Of course, at this point in time, we are not going to groom you into becoming a political speaker. We will tell you the dating faux pas to avoid, and how to charm the socks off your dates with your mouth.

No, not that technique. That is for a later topic.

NEVER

1) Tell a rehearsed joke.

Humor falls flat when it is rehearsed. Instead of focusing your attention on your date, you’re waiting for a good time to bring forth the jokes. Your mind is not registering whatever he/she says, because you are waiting to ambush your date.

Not only will your joke be not funny, you would have missed out on crucial personal information, such as financial wealth and sexual fetishes.

And you aggravate the situation by explaining your joke.

“You see my point? Foie gras? Tongue? Frenching? It’s like I’m frenching a duck?”

And you get increasingly nervous because your date is looking at you in a disdainful manner.

Instead of trying too hard, make a harmless joke whenever the situation allows you to. Mispronounce the dish’s name if you like; just be sure to follow up with the right pronunciation to let him/her know you’re joking. You don’t want your date to think you’re dumb.


2) Talk about an unfamiliar topic

Just because you’re seeing a financial analyst doesn’t mean you now have to wax lyrical about the economy. You begin inputting your two cents worth just because you took a peek at the news headline.

“Oh yeah, Obama ‘bare-rack’ really shouldn’t have done that.”

“What shouldn’t he have done?”

“You know, that thing … with the …. tax revenue…? ”

Stammering is not cool. It is the complete opposite of swagger.

Remember, swagger is about being who you are. You don’t have to pretend to be interested in finances if you are not. It is your date you are interested in. Ask about his exciting moments working as a financial analyst. Get her advice on managing YOUR finances.



3) Trash talk (about your boss, exes, your Mom, anyone)

Swagger is all about keeping cool. So imagine your look when you’re going on relentlessly about your bitch of a superior who gives you hell. You’re radiating a lot of fiery heat. And in a heat of moment, you lose your ability to speak coherently.

“I mean ... She’s just so … I don’t know if I can say whether she’s like, you know, psychotic, because she has absolutely, definitely go to be one!”

Besides, it is not swagger-like to get worked up over things. It feels better to be angry, no doubt, but if you want to possess swagger, you need to take things in your stride. Never let anything, especially the trivial ones, get to you.


4) Swear in front of your date

Even if you are one of those who use double profanities in a sentence every minute of your life.

“Don’t you fucking fuck with me!”
We know, there’s a certain charm about the badass guys. They get the hot chicks, always. They don’t care what the world thinks of them because they live by their own rules. And swagger is all about dropping the act and being yourself, aye?

Yes and no. If you go by the old definition of swagger, then yes. Continue to live a life where everyone you cross pisses you off. Continue to spit on everything that is in your way. Soon, you will find yourself the least popular person around your social circle.

Our definition of swagger is about poise and intelligence. Why limit your vocabularies to profanities? When you can replace the fucking in “This is fucking nice!” with words like extremely and fiendishly, people look to you with incredulous eyes.

People would think, “This is one person worth listening to”.

So you choose between sounding like a 12 year old, or a dignified adult with language proficiency.

Hey, it’s your swagger, after all.

You too can be confident

For a group of people, swagger comes naturally. It’s almost like an inherent trait; optimistic, helpful and conniving two-faced bitch.

I’m referring to the good looking people. The head-turners. The ones you stutter when in the presence of. Have you ever met a good looking person who hasn’t had swagger? Few, and unlikely. What’s griping is that they don’t even have to try. They have lesser people flock to them and fawn their good looks to no end. People are just in awe of them for no reason.

Sometimes, I get a cheap thrill out of watching modeling pageants. They’re eye candies, no doubt, and they have bodies of steel, but let’s keep the talking out of our conversation. They either have a squeaky voice that doesn’t match the face or they try too hard to be intelligent. You know, the face must match the brains!

Still, they are the envy of many. Economic crisis? No fear! I can just relegate to being a hunk on Deal or No deal, or an air stewardess on Oceanic Flight 815 (what? Nobody’s watching LOST anymore?) Every mistake for them is a learning opportunity and every mistake gets us fired.

They strut instead of walk. The pavement is a runway for them.

What is it that they have that we don’t? Why are the people around me so attracted to them?

No, it’s not terrifically good genes. It’s Confidence.

Confidence attracts others like a magnet. You must have noticed that the most popular guy at the party isn’t necessarily the best looking one. He is the one who is always humoring the others. No, not the clown.

God knows I have spent the last few decades trying to build up my confidence. I’m not exactly a big fan of hers, but plugging “Beautiful” by Christina Aguilera on repeat helps a tiny bit. Of course I think it’s easy for her to preach; she’s pretty like a doll!

What would pretty people know about low self esteem and low confidence level anyway?

My journey hasn’t exactly been a smooth ride. I can feel so good about myself and I can even appear to be charming to those with an acquired taste. I can be a lauded writer, but once I chance upon the Facebook profile of a handsome 23 year old dude, complete with 1436 pictures that depict his very shallow life of late night partying, shirtless beach parties, all of that is shattered.

I can’t hold a candle to a 23 year old who is …. good looking!

Perhaps my perception of what true confidence is wrong. I automatically assume Zac Efron is a confident person. Make that fiendishly confident. None of us would ever imagine a celebrity to suffer from low self esteem.

You must have known by now that my definition of confidence is just skin deep. So if you go by my definition, it’s a black and white situation. Either you’re confident or you’re not. Okay, maybe there is a grey area; cute.

While I know that being pretty to look at definitely gives you an edge, it is self confidence that wins others over. To be fair to them, good looking people remain only as good looking people if they didn’t have confidence too. But they have it easy, that’s all I’m saying.

But I am on the right track to seeking true confidence enlightenment. One of the first steps to building confidence is to first identify your insecurities. I know I’m not great looking; I get “cute” on my best days. I have a choice. I could either get a surgery or I could live with it.

I choose the latter. I can’t afford the former right now.

Ladies, do you feel compelled to wear push-up bras to give your cleavage a tight squeeze? Fellas, are you spending an alarming proportion amount of time in the gym and finding yourself wandering around aimlessly?

Good! You have identified your insecurities and you’re effecting a change in your life. There’s nothing wrong with a little deceit to get you through your days. But true confidence can only be achieved when you dust off your insecurities with a little pad on the shoulders.

“So what if they’re small? At least they’re real!”

And I admire your optimism. We can be confident people too if we bother to take the time to assess ourselves. And it’s not enough if you just address your insecurities.

It is imperative that you know your own strengths. We receive self assurance when we do the things we are great at. Because, let’s face it. When we do great, we receive praises and compliments. And nothing is a better ego-booster than praise and compliment. Your confidence level will rocket.

While it is good to remain humble, always take your compliments whenever you receive one. Share it with your loved ones! Be a rock star. Feel like a rock star.

When you feel like a rock star, be it in school or at work, you double your effort input. Many people neglect this. They go on their lives, never finding the need to tap in their potential. They remain at their desk jobs for years, preferring to work at a safe job.

Playing it safe will never you earn the SWAGGER title!

If you have a knack for basketball but live behind a sheltered life of a librarian simply because you think you don’t have balls the size of your fellow sportsmen, your true potential will never shine through. And talents that are buried remain as such.

If you yourself don’t even know what your strengths are, nobody will. Feel strongly about your strengths! Pun so intended.

The converse is true. Never allow yourself to feel inferior to others. Inferiority can seriously inhibit your confidence. Wallowing in self pity isn’t going to get you anywhere in life.

You could be up for the position of Regional Manager, and you pull out of the running at the last minute when you discover that you would be competing against a fresh University graduate. The size of your balls shrinks when you feel her presence. You think that your bag of experience doesn’t quite match up to her qualifications.

You move two steps back when you decide to feel inferior. Success only happens to those who believe in themselves.

The ladies should be familiar with the last point. For many nights now, you fine ladies have been faking orgasms to increase the confidence level of your husband and boyfriends. Of course, they run off after sex to brag to their buddies just how great they are at pleasuring you. Their ego gets bigger.

If you can fake it for the sake of others, you should fake it for yourself!

Of course, I don’t mean for you to moan at the top of your lungs wherever you go. I want to illustrate just how pretending to be confident can get you to places. It is not about being delusional. It’s not about being a smart aleck and blowing your own trumpet.

It is about believing in yourself.

You gear yourself up to be a confident person and sooner or later, you begin to BELIEVE that you are one. You don’t say no to new challenges. When you find yourself stuck, you have the confidence to ask the next door all-knowing nerd.

And the nerd, choosing to live in recluse, doesn’t get the credit. You become the ultimate go-to person. Can you spell swagger now?

And don’t worry about falling flat on your ass with fake confidence. How do you think those good looking people muster the courage to enter Mr. or Ms Universe contests? Yes, people laugh condescendingly at their efforts, but you will always hear them a sympathetic voice that says, “hey, at least they had the confidence!”

And that, my friend, is swagger.

Become who you were born to be

Thanks to the prolific use of the word “swagger” in hip hop songs, it is hard to shake off all sexual innuendos of the word. Hence, if I were to say swagger had a lot to do with self awareness, you would probably be examining your precious gems and humps right now.

Concentrate. Put your hands back on your lap.

While it may be true that individuals who are better endowed tend to be cockier, you too can possess swagger if you understood yourself better. Oh, how rude of me to automatically assume you weren’t erm… naturally blessed in that area.

In order to garner attention from others, you first need to focus the attention on yourself. Put away the measuring tape; you have no use for it. Self awareness runs deeper than the physical; it is more than knowing the length of your girth and the size of your jewels.

It is about personal identity. Swagger is about wearing your own attitude. But before you can “wear your own attitude”, you need to KNOW your innate attitude.

Aren’t we all familiar with that guy in school who tries to be ghetto but flops miserably? “Yo, yo, boom boom pow, po po zao!”Oh wait, that’s Kevin Ferdeline. His words sound like he’s rattling off a Chinese takeout menu. Not cool.

We all have that person we want to emulate. A person who epitomizes swagger. But when we try to pick up certain traits and walk a certain way, people catch on to that. Immediately, they know we’re trying to be someone we’re not. Unless your acting is top notch.

The reason why many people try to be someone they’re not is perpetuated by the fear of being socially stereotyped. By association, swagger conjures to mind the Captain of the football team, the Prom Queen and that cheer leading bitch. If you get invited to a frat party, you’re on the C.O.O.L. list!

“I’m not cool if I listened to opera and cried watching Oprah!” “And if my booty isn’t Beyonce-bootylicious, I will never find a boyfriend! And no boyfriend means swagger NOT!”

Self awareness is about knowing who you are. Swagger is about ACCEPTING yourself for who you are.

There is a stigma attached to the school’s nerd who clocks more time at the Science lab than in classes. Or the girl who wants to keep a short hair style. Look at p!nk; she is a role model to many girls; mostly lesbians, yes, but she does what she wants, not what society tells her to.

What’s wrong with being a goody-two-shoes and loving your dinosaur figurines? You could unearth a fossil and well be on your way to being a lauded anthropologist! So what if you’re 20 pounds overweight and have lungs like no others? For all you know, you could be the overweight version of YouTube sensation Susan Boyle.

And perhaps to put things into perspective.

Why people see frat boys and hip hop artistes as the definition of swagger is this. They do not try to be someone they’re not. Frat boys act ludicrously on a daily basis, and they know they are being stupid and hated for that. Do they withhold their antics? Nope. They continue doing what they like!

The ladies of a cheerleading squad probably have their cheers rewritten in their name (and not in a good way) but they don’t back down! They keep on coming back, and they keep bringing us the eights.

Hip hop artistes know they aren’t genius songwriters, and they are unabashed about it. They are not going to pick up violins and play the piano just so people will respect them as music moguls.

And that’s swagger. You don’t ask for it; you earn it.

So quit frontin’. Be who you are today!