Swagger Essentials

8 Ways To Keep Her Interested On The Phone

2010-01-14T08:31:00.000-08:00

www.swaggeressentials.com
Think of how attached you are to your Xbox. Now multiply that by 10: that's how much most women enjoy talking on the phone. For women, the phone is much more than a mere communication device, handy for making plans and ordering pizza. Oh no, for women, the phone is an all-out activity; an event; a source of entertainment comparable to a night of tequila shots and lap dances.
Learning to skillfully handle phone conversations can make the difference between a mediocre and a fantastic relationship. If you want to talk your way into her heart, you may need to do some of that talking over the phone.
If a phone conversation consists of a 30-second monosyllabic exchange to you, you may need to master 8 phone friendly moves to become a truly smooth operator in her eyes.

1- Have something to say
If you're the one making the call, make sure that you have something significant to say -- something she'd be interested in hearing. Calling to invite her out, ask for her fettuccine Alfredo recipe or what you should wear to dinner at your boss' house, or to tell her you love her new haircut, are all acceptable conversation starters (especially the part about the haircut).

2- Personalize your conversation
Many men complain that the phone is too impersonal, whereas for most woman, the phone is one of the most personal means of communication. Women don't use the phone just to call a cab. Nothing is too personal to talk about over the phone, and women can spend hours discussing their deepest and most intimate secrets, darkest fears, childhood traumas, and other emotional baggage.
You, however, might not be ready to discuss the deep pain you felt when your childhood puppy Binky was hit by a car. Nevertheless, there are steps you can take to make phone conversations with your honey less impersonal.
Try looking at a picture of her whilst talking on the phone. Seeing her face while you're speaking might help you feel more connected to her and may help you open up a bit.

3- Learn to multitask
So you think talking on the phone is a waste of time? Guess what? Your woman probably doesn't. Hang on, don't hang up yet. Talking on the phone doesn't mean the rest of your day has to be put on hold; all you have to do is learn to multitask.
To avoid devoting your full attention to the phone, buy one that has a speaker phone option, so you can talk while moving around; or better yet, invest in a handy headset, so you can have both your hands free to pursue, uh, other endeavors. Even a cordless can allow you to fold your clothing or even do the dishes, all the while chatting it up with your woman.

4- Become one with the phone
Multitasking is not for everybody -- if you really can't concentrate on clipping your toenails and talking on the phone at the same time, you may want to try focusing solely on the conversation itself. Chances are that if the two of you are talking in the first place, you do have a slight interest in what she has to say. So sit down, gaze lovingly into the phone receiver and just listen.

5- Ask open-ended questions
Open-ended questions require way more than a simple "yes" or "no" answer. Be prepared. Have a list of "safe" questions at your disposal, so that she can do most of the talking. For example, questions about her cat and her new stereo are phone-friendly.
Questions about her relationship with her mother or the picture of that mystery boy on her shelf are not. If, for some unforeseen reason, the phone conversation begins to veer in the direction of the meaning of your relationship, quickly intervene with a question about her award-winning chili, so you can sit back and let her gab away.

6- Take control of the conversation
It's true. Women's phone conversations have no emotional boundaries whatsoever, and if allowed to run wild, these conversations can run to dangerously steep emotional depths. If the only tears you want to shed while talking on the phone are from the onions you're chopping for your dinner, you need to take control of the conversation and steer it away from any deep, emotional drop-offs.
To remain in control of the chatter, you need to be the one doing most of the asking. If you merely respond to what she says, she may sneakily lure you into talking about your feelings and other "no-win situation" questions.

7- Always leave her wanting more
Who do you think is sexier: Peter Parker or Spider-Man? Spidey is because he's mysterious and unpredictable. So take his 8-legged lead and weave a web of mystery around your conversation. Don't tell her every teeny, insignificant detail about your life. Maybe you are a world-class ping-pong player -- but save that gem for another conversation.

8- Exit gracefully
Luckily for you, all phone conversations must, alas, come to an end -- but don't be fooled; you need to factor in at least an extra five minutes for the goodbye talk. Saying goodbye to a woman on the phone is like overtime in hockey -- we think the game's over, but oh no, there's a whole other period.
So get that stick back on the ice because abruptly saying "Gotta go, game's on," doesn't qualify as an acceptable goodbye. Ease into the finale. Try getting off the phone using sincere statements that let her know that you enjoyed the conversation and hope to see and talk to her soon. If you really are in a big rush, tell her your mother just walked in, your chili is burning, your phone battery is dying, or your pet rattlesnake isn't in his cage.

Jay Z - Swagger celebrity

2009-06-19T05:06:00.001-07:00

Jay Z

December 4 1969

Long before the likes of Kanye West and Lil’ Wayne even came to fame, Jay Z already put out a collective string of successful albums. In his decade long career, the American hip hop artiste has 11 albums to his name, and has sold a staggering 26 million albums in the United States alone. For his music efforts, Jay Z also has several Grammy awards in his bag. His debut album of 13 years old, Reasonable Doubt, ranked at #248 in Rolling Stone’s “500 Greatest Album Of All Time”.

The Reasonable Doubt era began humbly enough. Jay Z wasn’t one of the lucky hip hop musicians who got it easy. No record company would offer him a professional debut album. What’s a man to do then? Trust Jay Z to rise to the occasion. Along with Dame Dash and Kareem Biggs, Jay Z established Rock-A-Fella Records. In 1996, the Reasonable Doubt album was released. Commercially, it was no fanfare, having only reached number 23 on the Billboards chart, but it was critically well received.

It wasn’t 2 albums later that Jay Z scored his first megahit. His 1998 offering, Vol.2 Hard Knock Life, saw great commercial success. The album was certified 5x platinum and has sold over 8 million units. It was with Hard Knock Life that Jay Z earned his first Grammy win for Best Rap Album. The title track, Hard Knock Life (Ghetto Anthem) was certified Gold in 1999.

Through the nineties, Jay Z remained a strong force in the hip hop music industry, releasing one successful album after another. In the millennium, taking on the role of a mentor, he sidestepped in his career to help other aspiring stars carve a name. The project was named The Dynasty: Roc La Familia and its main purpose was to introduce these new artistes to the market.

That following year, Jay Z released what would be his unrivalled masterpiece in the many years to come. Till this day, The Blueprint is widely recognized as one of hip hop classic albums. It received the 5 mic review from The Source magazine, a highly circulated hip hop publication. And it is unsurprisingly so. Jay Z’s sixth album saw collaboration with famous rapper Eminem, and Kanye West had a hand at producing four of the album’s tracks.

For the next 3 years, Jay Z released 3 more albums; The Blueprint: The Gift & The Curse, The Black Album and Collision Course, which saw collaboration with him and rock band, Linkin Park. All 3 albums were well received by hip hop fans and critics, cementing Jay Z’s status as a hip hop mogul. The Black Album was his last before he announced his retirement from the industry, but as we all know it, true talents never stay away for too long.

His sabbatical ended when he dropped his comeback album in late 2006. Titled Kingdom Come, the album debuted at number 1, having sold an impressive 680,000 copies in the first week alone. This is a remarkable feat considering that sales in the music industry were in a slump. In 2007, the Jay Z-Rihanna collaboration song, Umbrella, arguably the biggest hit of the 21st century, reached number 1 on the Billboard charts.

Unlike some of his hip hop counterparts who have been known to squander their money away, Jay Z is unconventionally financially savvy. Not only does he enjoy immense success in the music industry, he has a strong footing in the business field as well. He was previously the CEO of Def Jam Recordings and Roc A Fella Records. Today, he helms The 40/40 Club, an All-American sports bars and co owns New Jersey Nets, a professional basketball team. This is a man who not only raps about swagger but is the walking epitome of it.

In 1999, along with his Roc-A-Fellas partners, he founded the urban clothing line, Rocawear. In 2007, Jay Z sold the rights of the enterprise to Iconix Branding Group, raking in $204 million in the handing over. Of his entrepreneur forays, Jay Z remarks that all of his brands are personal to him and he is emotionally involved in it. Instead of lending his name just to reap in the profits, Jay Z takes pride in all of his work.

Proving himself to be a very smart businessman, Jay Z is reportedly signing a deal with Live Nation for a swopping $150 million. This contract is one of the most lucrative contracts ever offered to a musician. Once finalized, Live Nation will contribute to Jay Z’s entertainment ventures, which include a record label, talent agency and a music publishing company. This is a far cry from Jay Z’s humble days, when he couldn’t even get a professional deal.

They say that behind every successful man is a woman. For an established man like Jay Z, this woman happens to be another renowned hip hop artiste. Jay Z is blissfully married to Beyonce Knowles. Unlike most other high profile celebrity couples, Jay Z and Beyonce have managed to keep their private lives out of the tabloid news. Preferring instead to lay low about their relationship, Jay Z and Beyonce did not trumpet their holy matrimony in early 2008. Keeping silence on their relationship, Jay Z says, has helped in their relationship.

Enjoying success in both family and career aspects, Jay Z is definitely one swagger man we all wish to become!

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Make a SWAGGER presentation

2009-06-19T05:04:00.000-07:00

Presentation is one of the many heart-racing moments we experience during our working lives. Even the most conceited attention seeker can shy away from the spotlight when the need to stand before a crowd arises. The possibility of being subject to caustic remarks deters anyone from taking centre stage. The intimidating presence of your CEO towers over you and the unforgiving looks on your team mates when you make a blunder only aggravate the situation. All this doesn’t bode well for you if you’re looking to impress your office crush.

And so you take the back seat. You decide that you do not want to put yourself under the unnecessary scrutiny. You gratefully thank your partner for stepping up and volunteering to present your ideas to the boss. You relegate to being the resident PowerPoint tracker, decimating your job responsibility to literally clicking the mouse. Newsflash: no one cares about the guy who is the PowerPoint clicker or the girl who parades with the visual aids.

If you want to get ahead in the company, public speaking is your golden express ticket. Take a cue from your rock star colleagues – they put themselves out there because it is the only way they can get talent spotted in a multitude of people. There is an unspoken admiration for someone who dares to speak before a crowd.

Contrary to mid wives’ tales, the skill of public speaking can be honed. No one is ever born eloquent. Social butterflies, though glib in nature, aren’t necessarily the best presenters in the industry.

1) Put on a show

Bored and uninspired expressions, having people fidget or leave their seats can be all distracting to you. These reactions can impede your presentation because you know you are losing your audience’s attention. And so your defensive instincts go into overdrive and you decide to hasten your presentation. You forget your words, you stammer and you leave out a good chunk of your presentation.

Sustaining interest and keeping all eyes intent on you is no easy feat. You need to garner attention right from the get-go. Excite your audience in the first 30 seconds – make them sit up and go, “this is worth staying awake for”. This is the time to get creative.

The best presentations were never just about reciting a carefully scripted speech and synchronizing your words with your PowerPoint tracker. Instead of sticking to the hackneyed routine of Microsoft PowerPoint, you could kick off your presentation with a video. If it is one important presentation that would determine the course of your career, it is probably best to outsource the making of the video to a professional vendor.

If you do not have the resources, fish out your camcorder and put it to good use (other than limiting it to the bedroom). Address the important points of your presentation in the video – the key message, etc –

If you want to go all out, you can even perform a live skit. Make sure you are well-rehearsed on the day of your performance and rock out! However, be mindful that this is only the start of your presentation; the purpose of the video or skit is to enthrall your audience –ultimately, you want to keep the gems for the actual presentation.

2) Make them laugh

Unless you are in the stratosphere of Barack Obama, chances are people won’t be listening closely to every word you say in an hour long presentation. A few of them would also doze off in the middle of your speech. What better way to wake them up than a sudden roar of laughter? When your audience laughs with you, it only means one thing: they agree with what you are saying and they are enjoying your presentation. More often than not, the part of the speech that resonates best with them is the part you have amused them.

Humor is indeed pivotal to a good presentation. However, this doesn’t mean you should be rummaging through archives of Chris Rock’s monologues and quip about black people when you are trying to do a sales presentation. The funniest jokes are the ones that are the simplest. They are not contrived nor forced. Relate to your audience the things you have observed during your time with the company; the unique work culture etc. Make a casual witticism about management if you will. Talk about work idiosyncrasies but be careful not to cite any names. You will have your audience nodding their head in unison in no time.

3) Rehearse, rehearse, rehearse

Even the most charismatic person cannot deliver a good presentation if he decides to just “go up onstage and wing it”. Remember, when you make a presentation, you are either trying to promote something, sell an idea or push a message. It is very different from speaking in a social setting. If you are ill-prepared, you cannot speak with authority when discussing a subject matter.

Rehearsing is also of paramount importance when it is a team presentation. A lack of preparedness is evident when teammates interrupt each other or cut short each other’s allocated portion. It also disrupts the audience’s train of thought when the team needs to pause for one member to jump back to the previous slide to make his point. Everything is thrown into disarray and your team’s efforts would go down the drain.

A presentation that is polished and executed well on cue is likely to rave the audience.

4) Visual aids

And by that, we don’t mean for you to line all the eye candies in the centre. Visual aids engage the audience and help them grasp the concept you’re trying to sell. You can verbally brag about the threefold increase in sales when you were at the helm, but that point would be put across more effectively when it is depicted in the form of a chart. Don’t leave your audience to their imagination; show them.

Break the monotony of words by including pertinent pictures in your presentation. Make it colorful and dazzling!

How to be a Swagger Mom

2009-06-19T05:00:00.000-07:00

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Herald the new generation of mothers. Swagger moms - not to be confused with soccer moms - are a new breed of women renowned for their sharp maternal instincts and awe inspiring work ethics. They are the ones who truly have it all - a rewarding job and above all, a wonderful family. They are the anti-thesis of a traditional docile woman. Instead of relegating to mundane household chores, they relish in taking on responsibilities, be it to their children or work.

Anti family detractors often present an either/or proposition and take the glass half empty stance that one cannot possibly juggle well between both family and work life. These women defy all logic and rise to the occasion. It is definitely no breeze walk in the park; moments when you feel like you are stretched thin are the moments you just want to give up.

Some career minded women also have doubts if they are the make of a good mother. The truth of the matter is the inherent qualities that made you a successful woman in the first place are all the qualities you need to be a good mother. While there are many privileges that you might have to relinquish when you take on the role of a mother, you don’t have to sacrifice the little bits of you that define who you are.

Swagger Essentials is here to tell you how to become the best mom in the world!

Being there even when you’re not

Missing out on your kid’s important events such as his first day in school or her first stage performance due to work commitments can be a guilt trip. Indeed. We all know how difficult it

is to make time for family when you have a full time job. You can plan your days down to the last detail and all the efforts would be for naught if your ass-of-a-boss decides to live up to his name and calls for an emergency meeting.

Such is the reality for a working mom. You hurt when your child gives a disillusioned look or throws a temper. However, there are ways to make up for your nonattendance. Sit your child down the night before and talk to him about the exciting journeys of school. Take the time to pack his bag along with him and remind him where his pencils are kept. The next day, make him a lunchbox that he can enjoy at school.

It is also time to get creative. If you can’t be physically there for her big moment, take a cue from Lynette Scavo (Desperate Housewives). Have your husband or caretaker videotape, or video stream the performance so that you can enjoy it live or at a later time. So when you shower her with compliments, instead of being vague and pretentious (she can even retort “you weren’t even there”), you know exactly what was so enthralling about her performance.

Sink into your maternal instincts

Every female in the world is born innately with maternal instincts. We know this because females are generally better listeners and are more meticulous when it comes to details like

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birthdays and anniversaries. For many of us, it was our mothers who took the time to throw us our elaborate 7 year old birthday party. Our mothers reminded us to wear clean socks every day too.

Your child, be it a boy or a girl, is likely to seek your listening ear than your husband’s when they face problems in school, in their relationships or at work. Hearken to them when they are pouring their souls out to you. This helps to build a better rapport and it strengthens the bond that the two of you share. Dish out some valuable advice and relate to them how you would deal with the problem if it happened to you, but allow them the freedom to make their own choices. This way, you groom them to become independent, thinking adults.

Take some time off your busy schedule everyday for a straight heart to heart conversation with your children. Ask about the day they had, about his girlfriend or her boss - anything under the sun. Show them that you are interested in their lives. Communication is pivotal to any strong relationship and one of the pitfalls that many mothers make is to eschew communicating altogether.

Encourage your child

Every child needs encouragement when they face a bump in their life. Be the guiding light and spur them on. Reassure them that their problems are only fleeting, and that they have the means within them to overcome them. This helps you to know what’s going on in your child’s life too. As a swagger mom, you need to be in the loop. A bad mother is only bad when she is clueless about her kids.

Be a role model

As a career woman, late nights are inescapable and drinking and entertaining clients or bosses come with the job. What kind of a statement would you be making to your kids if you came home, reeking of alcohol and cigarettes? You would be promoting a wrong message to your kids; that being intoxicated is a socially accepted norm. It certainly isn’t a beautiful sight to behold when you are railing at the top of your lungs and retching on your couch. Kids mirror the actions of their mothers, and they grow up thinking that it is okay to indulge in their vices excessively.

If you do need to head out for a couple of drinks, know your limits. Be disciplined. You are no longer in your teens without any cares in the world. You are a mother now, and while mothers should have the prerogative to have fun, you also need to think about your children. Sober yourself up before you set foot in your house. Portray a professional image as you would when you arrive at work in the office. Just because it’s your house doesn’t mean you can come home when your power suit drenched in your vomit.

Insist that your child do household chores

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This is one point that is being overlooked in our society. In this day and age where domestic help is prevalent, many young children grow up not ever knowing how to sweep the floor – many just end up sweeping the dirt from one end to another. Not many young adults know how to whip up a simple meal; instead they stake out at fast food restaurants or call for Chinese takeout. How many of you can say that you know how to fold your own laundry?

Mothers these days are spoiling their kids. They keep their children by their side, as if the umbilical cords were never cut. As Swagger moms, if you want your kids to become successful, you need to inculcate the quality of humility. Teach your kids to learn that they need to work hard to get what they want. They will thank you in their later years when they can easily accustom to the reality of the working world and not get a culture shock of their life. We are also sure you do not want a child who is snob-in-making – someone who gets what they demands. These are the kids who would forget their roots and send you off to an aged home the first chance they get.

Female Celebrity Watch -p!nk

2009-06-19T04:54:00.000-07:00

p!nk

September 8th 1979

Singer/Songwriter

There is not a single living artiste who is more dedicated to her art than p!nk. With the release of her 5^th album Funhouse, the lauded singer has impressively surpassed the whooping 30 million mark in total sales record. Funhouse also spawns her first Billboard number one megahit, So What. Adding to her accolades is her slew of record-breaking concert feats; with her boisterous Funhouse tour, she now holds the record of biggest female tour ever with 54 shows in Australia, playing at sold out arenas to her multitude of enthusiastic fans.

A confessional danger seeker, the quintessential American performer has singlehandedly raised the bar of what defines a spectacular live show. Lavish sets, pyrotechnics and confetti consummate a great concert, but it is p!nk’s daring and jaw dropping stunts that will enthrall even the harshest critic. Displaying no signs of acrophobia, p!nk suspends precariously in mid air, taking on the term “soaring to great heights” in a literal sense. As she sings her songs – all of which she has writing credits -, one cannot help but break into a salvo and admire her gusto.

Make no mistake. To all of us at Swagger Essentials, p!nk is not the answer to her reigning pop counterparts. She is dare we say it, a better live performer than Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake, Michael Jackson, Christina Aguilera and Madonna all added up. She ranks in her own league. Disagree with us? Check out this bootleg video of her Sober performance.

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And that is but a taste of the brilliance that p!nk delivers during her 22 song set. Not even Madonna, the Queen of Pop, has attempted something of this magnitude. While Britney is preoccupied with making sure her sound system works and stays in pristine condition, p!nk chooses instead to sing live and unaided with a backing track. Enthusing and confusing fans at the same time, she hits every note as she practically flies right above our heads, bewildering fans and haters alike. She definitely give the folks of Cirque Du Soleil a run for their money.

We do not know how she does it, but we know this much. She must feel a fervent passion for her work to continually want to outdo and outshine herself. p!nk has all the traits of a swagger woman. This is a woman who is motivated and driven and doesn’t stop at being second best. While her line of work would greatly differ from that of ours, we should emulate her hardworking attitude and channel our positive energy into giving our best at work.

Even her offstage persona is remarkable. When you sit her down and take away her intricately designed set, p!nk remains her feisty self. She is not one to shy away from self-deprecating humor and we find that quality of hers to be very appealing. She speaks confidently and is often opinionated. In an exclusive interview with popular blogger Perez Hilton, she addresses the lesbian rumors not by taking a defensive stance, but by declaring she would have no qualms about declaring herself a homosexual if she was one. We are hooked.

p!nk is also a woman you don’t want to trifle with. She stands up for her own beliefs and has never been known to repress her feelings. An active PETA activist, p!nk recently called out on hotheaded Kanye West for his frivolous “they need more fur in this show” comment at the Stella McCartney’s Paris Fashion show. Guess she wasn’t pulling our socks when she sings, “I wanna start a fight!”

So whether it is her onstage performances or her unique personality, p!nk is a star in her own right. She is an immensely talented person and we revere her!

How to be a Swagger Dad

2009-06-19T04:53:00.000-07:00

They call it the moment when boys become men. Whether it is by the will of a broken condom or the result of a meticulously planned pregnancy, fatherhood can be a very rewarding experience. Drawn to their intrinsic swagger values, boys begin their transition into young, responsible men when they take on the challenge of being a father. They rally their confidence when they need to make decisions and they speak with authority when the occasion rises.

Becoming a father entails a lot of work. Your world changes. You have given life to an actual human being. You are no longer caring for yourself - and your wife, naturally – and you begin to prioritize your child’s needs before yours. Fathers are also the first predominant male figure in any child’s life. Your son will turn out to be the splitting image of you as they try to emulate you in every way and your daughter will benchmark future boyfriends against you.

Being a father is the most gratifying job one can ever have – ask all the Dads around; they can attest to that. Look at Will Smith and Bill Cosby. They are both successful moguls, and having a family consummate their lives. Yet it can also be a flummoxing period as you trek into unfamiliar territory. Swagger Essentials is here to tide you over. Do you aspire to be your kid's superhero? Do you want your kids to look up to you in admiration? Here are some simple tips that will help transform you into a bona fide Swagger Dad!

Be the father you always wanted to be

Lead by example

To a child, a father is the epitome of well, everything! Through his innocent eyes, he perceives all of your actions and behaviors as permissible. If you have a habit of public spitting – which we hope you do not because that is NOT swagger-like -, he will grow up thinking that regurgitating his mucus to the earth is a healthy habit. If you wish for your child to grow up and be a successful member of the society, you first need to get over your sloppy self.

Through the way you behave in various circumstances, you inculcate swagger qualities in your child. Your daughter takes after your mannerism; she observes the way you gesture and speak confidently in a social setting. If you’re a contentious one and you pick a fight whenever you can, your child is likely to become a bully in future. So start displaying the right and positive attitude!

Be affectionate to your wife and children

A good father should torch the family spirit. Children who grow up in a home that is brimming with love grow up to become open minded and amiable social butterflies. They are more comfortable in social gatherings than those who suffer abandonment issues. You certainly do not want your kid to become rigid and void of emotions, do you?

No, we don’t mean for you to start fornicating with your wife in the presence of your kids. Witnessing his parents in the middle of a sexual romp will scar any child for life. When we say affection, we mean non-dirty flirting such as a gentle peck on the cheeks or holding hands. What better way to teach love than to spread love? Spend some quality time with your family; show them that they come first.

Let your children choose the way they want to live their life

Do you remember the heated debate you had with your parents when you decided to do something unconventional? Do you remember how much you hated them for depriving you of the chance to follow your dreams? You might have hopes and big dreams for your children – you want your son to be a hot shot lawyer and you want your daughter to be a teacher – but those are YOUR hopes and dreams. It isn’t necessarily what THEY want.

Allow your children to tap in their full potential. Do not lay out their paths for them. Who is to say your daughters cannot enjoy success in a modeling career? Say hello to the likes of Heidi Klum, Adriana Lima, who earn more zeros in a month than you ever will. There is no use in making your son pass the bar when he is better off swinging off it – and by that we mean dancer -. A good father advises, but does not restrict. To be a swagger dad, you need to discover your child’s innate talent and prepare him for greatness in every way possible.

Fatherhood is both an exhilarating and daunting journey. It is definitely no easy ride, but some people find true meaning in their lives after having a child of their own. Remember, the way your child behaves has a lot to do with his upbringing. If he turns out to be either a slob or a snob, you take the blame. If he is a well respected man, people will know who should take credit.

Achieve Happiness in Life

2009-06-19T04:50:00.000-07:00

For even the best of swagger peeps, happiness may be a transient feeling; it comes and goes but it never lingers. Going on about their lives perfunctorily, they take to their Facebook statuses and blogs to voice their rants and displeasure. A simple “my life sucks” update generates comments from like-minded companions; “yeah? Join the club”. Stress that comes with the job – or of not having one, for that matter -, estranged relationships and unfruitful endeavors can all be attributing factors that abate one’s enthusiasm toward life.

As we have already established in our previous article, Happiness at work, happiness is the key to success; a point that is not even moot. Leading an uninspired life can be detrimental to all aspects in your life. You lack the motivation to excel at work, and when you come home to your family, you neglect the needs of your spouse and children. Such behavioral patterns are indications of a deeply rooted sense of unhappiness. A swagger person should never allow himself to become an insipid personality.

Swagger Essentials is here to imbue you with the spirit of joy. If you are cynical about this, we implore you to ditch the attitude and trust us on this one. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain!

Tackle your problems head on

More often than not, rancor rankles not because of a single problem, but from the cumulative effect of many troubles. You might find yourself in a financial predicament when you allow your debts to snowball. You might have been procrastinating on your work and you are now living on borrowed time. Being overwhelmed with external factors can sometimes cloud your judgment, and you begin to make one mistake after another. That’s when the unhappiness sets in.

Believe it or not, as terrestrial swagger men and women, we are all genetically engineered to be sharp thinkers and problem solvers. You already know the means and ways to resolve your problems; you are not as helpless as you think you are. So cease your whining and take charge, pronto. If need be, make a list of the things that require your due attention and strike them off as you see to it. Solve your problems one at a time, and you will begin to feel an immediate sense of relief.

Be thankful

To be a swagger person is to be driven and ambitious. Yet sometimes, in our relentless pursuit of ambition, we can get overly zealous. We get upset when we fail and we dwell on each unsuccessful venture. When we do get ahead, we become greedy and we want more. We lose sight of what is truly important: happiness and living a meaningful life. It is a fine line between contentedness and complacency, and many people tend to mistake the two.

Being contented and settling for second best isn’t necessarily sloppiness. It is about being thankful for being gifted with the opportunity to pursue your hopes and dreams, where many others are bereft of the chance. It is extending your gratitude to your mentors and bosses for allowing you to tap your full potential. It is thanking your Higher power, be it God or any other spiritual beliefs that you have, for all the people in your life.

Have you given thanks yet?

Companionship

Human beings build rapports for a simple reason. We all need companionship. We all desire intimacy and we need someone to hold us when we get upset.Loneliness can give rise to unhappiness. When faced with adversities, having someone to hold our hands and walk us through our obstacles can be comforting.

Has the revelation that you’re living a solitary life ever hit you? That must have been one of the lowest points in your life. You can have all the success in the world and all that would have been for naught if you had no one to share it with. One of the most painful feelings is returning from work to an empty house. No man is an island and it is certainly true for us. Swagger Essentials’ advice is to go all out and meet friends, acquaintances and make meaningful relationships along the way.

Remember, the magnitude of happiness is often multiplied threefold when you share it.

Know what it is that makes you happy

The only way to be happy is well, to actively seek happiness! Only you will have the answer to true happiness enlightenment. Do whatever that floats y

our boat. You don’t need a major overhaul nor do a 360 career switch to be happy; we are not advocating that you irrationally tender your resignation letter today. We’re saying if you have a talent for music, form a band and rock out

in your garage! If you have an affinity for design, take up part time art classes. Why attenuate your desire when you know you have a knack for something? Make it a point to indulge in your hobbies at least once a week.

The only factor that is going to restrain you and hold you back is your own skepticism. There is no harm in a little entertainment and enjoyment.

Think positively and cultivate optimism

They don’t call life a bitch for no reason. When life throws you a bone, what do you do with it? It is likely that you will fail a thousand times before you succeed – the question is whether you have the tenacity to endure through the hardship. Will you fight or take flight? Your will and determination will be put to test each time you fail. It is in these moments that you need to inhale positivity and be optimistic about your future.

Each mistake that you make in life, whether it is in your job or in life situations, is a valuable lesson to take home. To err is human, as the saying goes. You can choose to wallow in self pity, or you can choose to delight at the fact that you learnt something the hard way. All your missteps will only make your success in future all the sweeter.

With that, we leave you a very famous and motivational quote by Benjamin Franklin: “I haven’t failed. I’ve found 10000 ways that don’t work”.

Goldfrapp - Happiness

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Happiness at work

2009-06-06T19:07:00.000-07:00

To quote the late Albert Schweitzer, “success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success”. Indeed. We know of a multitude of people who are well respected at work, garner an enviable monthly income but remain very, very miserable. Working as an incumbent slave, they begin to feel a void in their life as they ponder over their foregone years. Inundated with a truckload of work to do, they yearn for a hole to burrow themselves into.

All that drive and passion could change in a wink of a few years. You report for work, knowing you are just going through the motions and that your efforts are only half hearted at best. Resentment festers and these combined factors can hinder your work performance.

When was the last time you worried frantically about things? Do you constantly feel exasperated when you are at work? Have you sighed in dismay and can’t even bear to look at your incompetent colleague? Do you sing a lament for your own plight? Are you constantly running around thinking it’s the apocalypse, unleashing your anger at someone before you are bereft of the chance? Do you find yourself inhaling heavily when you are yelling at someone?

Do you hate your work and most importantly, has your job made you hate yourself? Happiness seems to be an elusive state of mind.

We are all too familiar with the mental stress that comes with work. All of these emotions can point to severe mental stress. Raising your voices isn’t a healthy form of stress release. Instead of feeling an immediate relief, you are only adding onto your frustration - and wrinkle lines – Getting all contentious and riled up only inches you toward a heart attack.

While you cannot change the macro factors; you cannot supplant your imperious boss with someone amiable and understanding; you cannot magically add zeros to your pay checks, there is one thing you can change. Your mindset. The way you choose to perceive things and take on life can greatly impact your work performance.

Happiness can and will increase your work productivity. When you wake up on the right side of bed, when you choose to feel upbeat and positive, your work efficiency increase threefold. Be the modern day Mary Poppins, except with better clothes. Trust us; you will thank us when your boss appreciates the spike in your work performance.

The root of the problem

In lieu of a negative outpour, take a second to breathe. Find out the root of your problem – why are you so irritable when it comes to work? Is it because you have a non-exhaustive list of things to do? Are you handling more workload than you possibly can? Perhaps it is time to raise your concerns to your direct supervisors. Just make sure that your workload is indeed humanely impossible to juggle.

Ask for feedback

We are all suckers for praises and acknowledgements. Nuggets of happiness can emanate from compliments. Sometimes, a little nod from upper management can spur us on and expunge all thoughts of work suicide. If you know you have done an excellent job, ask for a performance appraisal. If you know you are deserving of it, broach the topic of a promotion. This isn’t conceitedness or arrogance; men and women of swagger know when to leverage an offer.

Chances are your performance review will not be entirely immaculate. There will be areas where you can improve, and you should see it upon yourself to do so. Instead of relegating to sub-par standards, you should strive to be the best that you can be. Be motivated!

Make friends, not enemies

Let’s face it. No one likes the office bitch or the aloof colleague who never RSVPs to office parties and gatherings. Not many of us can fit in incongruously like Betty Suarez. It is human nature to seek companionship. Colleagues are the people we see for the most part of the week and if we don’t see eye to eye with them, we can be in for a long day. Most people keep their jobs not because of the remunerations and work benefits, but because of the friendships and bonds they have forged.

When you receive a compliment at work, you will probably want to share your joyful news with someone in close proximity. That is not going to happen if you have no friends at work. It is often said that time flies when you are having fun, so cavort with your colleagues today! A good merry laugh is a well deserved timeout that is so much more effective than a cigarette break.

Teaching is a renewal of interest

As you climb the corporate ladder, it is easy to lose sight of your own humble beginnings. It is not easy to put yourself in the shoes of a young fresh graduate who has only begun to embark on his American dream. Far be it from us to say this, taking the time to teach these aspiring kids can be a rewarding experience.

You begin to feel the same ferventness you had toward your job when you first started out. Instead of seeing it as yet another time-consuming task, take up the challenge of grooming and nurturing a young talent. You will be pleasantly surprised when you learn something new each time you rehash what you know to your junior staff. A good teacher also earns respect from his apprentice.

A new perspective, a new you. As men and women of swagger, you should never settle for mediocrity. Instead of resigning to fate, why not take matters in your own hands and write your own destiny? Choose the way of happiness and positivity and you will reap the many benefits.

Susan Boyle - a woman of swagger

2009-06-05T07:54:00.001-07:00

Susan Boyle

Born 1 April 1961

If you haven’t heard of Susan Boyle, you must be living under a rock. The Scottish singer is undoubtedly the biggest sensation ever to emerge from a TV reality show. Showcasing her flair for singing on Britain’s Got Talent, Boyle sang an awe-inspiring rendition of “I dreamed a dream”, capturing the hearts of millions who watched her. Her video performance was also rampantly circulated in the online sphere, and is ranked the most watched online video, enjoying almost tens of millions hits.

Boyle first took center stage, arm on waist, and made her best model strut entrance. Defying all forms of stereotypes, the unemployed 47 year old neither looked nor dressed the part. Naturally, many in the audience met her appearance with skepticism, and her frivolous antics were frowned upon. Immediately we thought we had another William Hung on our hands.

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When she exclaimed her wish to emulate Elaine Paige and hoped that the show would be her stepping stone to become a professional singer, the judges – and those present – saw her declaration as conceitedness and were cynical. It wasn’t until they heard her big voice that their hostile eyes turned to incredulous ones.

Barely allowing her to finish her first line, the audience erupted into a loud, ebullient cheer that culminated into a standing ovation. Of her performance, Boyle was hailed as the biggest surprise since the show’s inception; that she was a wake-up call to all of us watching: never judge a book by its cover. Her idol, Elaine Paige, personally adulated her performance and gave nod to a possible duet in the near future. She also touted Boyle as the role model for many.

Since becoming a laudable singer, Boyle has appeared on several talk shows including CBS’s Early Show, ABC’s Good Morning America and NBC’s Today. Most notably, she appeared via satellite on The Oprah Winfrey Show; you know you’ve made it when even Oprah wants a piece of you. Boyle has successfully conquered America with just one performance.

Yet, the sweet victory of Susan Boyle and the surreal realization of her dreams give rise to a moral calling. Would Boyle have enjoyed such unprecedented success if she was as pretty as say, Britney Spears? Would she have garnered international attention if she was in her perky 20s? Would the media be so fixated on profiling her if she was of chirpy cheerleader caliber?

Quite frankly, while we are enthralled by her vocal prowess, Boyle has charmed us more with her personality. Long before she belted out her big notes, she already swept us off our feet with her confidence. What she lacks in looks, she definitely makes up for in her zany attitude. She took to the stage, having to deal with the dismay and cold reception of the crowd. Any other person would have succumbed to the harsh scrutiny, but not our beloved Boyle.

Instead, she decided to amuse the critical crowd with a little provocative dance of her own. When asked to introduce herself, she did so with all confidence and no stammering. Only a woman of swagger who knows her strengths and self worth can be so mightily confident.

Attesting the fact that she is a very confident woman, Boyle stood her ground when she got off to a rocky start during her semi final performance. Instead of faltering, she prevailed and managed to sing the rest of “Memory” to the roaring applauses of audience and judges. Needless to say, she earned herself a spot in the Final 2 Britain’s Got Talent competition.

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Reprising the song that propelled her to fame, Boyle sang “I dreamed a dream” for her final performance, this time with even more gusto and vocal powers. Her stunning performance came in light of rumors that the stress of winning was getting to Boyle and she was going to quit the show. In the week leading up to the finale, Boyle had a taste of the cruel side of fame when she became embroiled in a string of controversies. Many were afraid that Boyle was going to under perform and disappoint, but a woman who has such immense talents rarely has an off-day.

Boyle sang “I dreamed a dream” on the stage for the second time, inspiring people around the world to dare to live their dreams, as she had. Even though she was tipped to win the coveted crown, she eventually lost to rival dance group Diversity. Being the good sportsman that she is, she congratulated the group and even referred their victory as deserving and that “the best people won”.

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In our books, Susan Boyle is a winner in her own right. She is an inspiration to us; if we remain undaunted and relentless, our dreams can and will come true. It doesn't matter if we are young or old, it doesn't matter if we are pretty or goodlooking, it doesn't matter how long it takes, as long as we want it enough, as long as we keep trying, we will ultimately catch our big break.

Young celebrity watch: Taylor Swift

2009-06-05T07:51:00.000-07:00

Taylor Swift

Dec 13, 1989

Singer, songwriter

Supplanting Britney Spears as the newest America’s sweetheart, Taylor Swift has become a household name thanks to the massive success of her music. Even before she hits the big 2s, Swift has already set a number of impressive Billboards records. Her self-titled debut album spawned 5 hit singles and was certified 3X multi-platinum. The Pennsylvanian country singer/songwriter was named the biggest selling artist of 2008, with her debut and sophomore albums bringing in combined sales of four million albums sold. Swift is also the first artiste to have two different albums chart on the Top 10 year end album list.

Adding to her slate of accolades, Fearless is the first album by a female country artist to top the Billboard chart for eight weeks. Swift also holds the record for being the first country artist to cross the 2 million mark in the music download industry. In February, Swift’s single, Love Story topped the Mainstream Top 40 chart, becoming the first country song to do so. Love Story is also ranked at the top for being the country song with the highest number of paid downloads.

While Swift is still young, she has an ample amount of experience to boast. Displaying her flair for writing even at an early age, Swift won a national poetry contest with her “Monster In My Closet” piece. By the age of 10, she began penning her own songs and performing them at singing competitions. Citing the likes of Shania Twain, LeAnn Rimes and Dixie Chicks as her musical influences, Taylor began developing an affinity for country music. When she turned 11, the young and hopeful star distributed a demo tape hoping to ink a record deal. She was rejected.

When she was 15, RCA offered her a development deal which she eventually turned down. Instead of hopping onto the grand opportunity, she rejected the gesture because the company wouldn’t let her record her own songs – a decision that many teenagers her age would not have arrived at. Even at a tender age of 15, Swift had displayed essential swagger qualities. Not one to relinquish her beliefs just to get a shot at fame, Swift stays true to herself.

Swift upholds a level of integrity, as reflected in her conduct and as well as her lyrical masterpieces. Preferring to write about personal experiences in her songs, Swift has built a fan base that enjoys her raw and emotional lyrics. Her debut single, Tim McGraw, is written about an estranged relationship. Her self-titled album, Taylor Swift, made its presence in the Top 20 in its first week, before going to clinch the number 5 spot on the Billboard Charts. The album remained on the top spot at the Top Country Album charts for 20 weeks, a feat held only by Dixie Chicks and Carrie Underwood. Her subsequent singles from the album, Teardrops from my Guitar, Picture to Burn and Should’ve said No enjoyed tremendous success as well, cementing Swift’s status as a country music artist.

In October 2007, she was the honorary recipient of the Nashville Songwriters Association International Songwriter/Artist of the Year award, making her the youngest artist to be bestowed with the award.

With no signs of diminishing fame, Swift proved she was no fleeting one-hit-wonder when she released Fearless to both commercial success and critical acclaim. The album debuted at the #1 spot that week, with sales of nearly 600k copes being sold. Swift now holds the record for the highest debut of any country artists in 2008. 11 out of the 13 tracks on Fearless also made a dent on Billboard Hot 100 chart.

Perhaps one of the highlights in her music career, her song, Change, was included in the soundtrack to support TEAM USA during the 2008 Olympics. By the end of 2008, she was named Billboard’s Top Country Artist and Hot Country Songwriter of 2008. At the 44^th Annual Academy of Country Music Awards, Swift scooped the Album of the Year award for Fearless, making her the youngest artist to win the coveted award. Almost too premature because she is so young, the Academy gifted her with the Crystal Milestone award for all her amazing achievements.

Now that she has pretty much conquered the music scene, Swift is looking to other ventures, namely acting, for even more exposure. She first displayed her acting chops by appearing in Brad Paisely’s music video, Online, and later in her close friend Kellie Pickler’s Best days of your life music video. However, it was her primetime television acting debut that has millions of people talking. In March 2009, she starred in the popular CSI drama, attracting some 20 million viewers.

Riding on the waves of her success, Swift has inked a couple of endorsement deals ranging from the National Hockey League to Nashville Predators. L.e.i. Clothing Line has also designed a line of outfits in Swift’s name. Swift humbly states that she will inspire the clothing line with her own style but does not see it as a foray into designing. We found her conviction to be refreshing, because all too often, as part of a self-fulfilling prophecy, celebrities want to have a hand in every industry. But Swift sees no need in that.

On top of being ingeniously talented, Swift lives up to her reputation as America’s sweetheart. Doing her part for society, Swift has an active voice in charity and is known to use her influential status to benefit young children and teenagers. A generous person, she has donated to children hospital and to the Red Cross on numerous occasions. In even more meaningful works, she also took it upon herself to launch a campaign to safeguard children from online predators.

It is always baffling to see a young star come into eminence. Taylor Swift has our thumbs up for being such an exemplary role model to her young fans! For the older generation, we can all take a page from her; we should never comprise our beliefs and continue to work hard toward success.

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Domestic violence

2009-06-05T07:49:00.000-07:00

In our last edition, we broached the topic of men being abused by the women in their life. This week, Swagger Essentials will talk about women being the victims of domestic abuse.

In news that shook the nation, famous celebrity Rihanna was reportedly assaulted and put in life-threatening situations by longtime boyfriend, Chris Brown, also a superstar in his own right. Once seen as Hollywood’s powerful young couple, the unfortunate incident shatters the public perception of the dream team. Pictures of a badly battered Rihanna surfaced on the web, upsetting both fans and women rights groups. Fanning the flames, we learnt that the assault wasn’t a one-time affair; Rihanna filed a slew of reports against Brown, shedding light on a haunting domestic violence episode.

Where it was once thought that only “weak” and submissive women would bend to the maltreatment of the male figures, the Rihanna/Chris Brown incident brought attention to a burning realization. Successful women are equally susceptible to abuse as any other woman. Women who are well respected in their workplaces or social groups can actually be victims hiding behind a façade. A woman of swagger can be subject to unreasonable ultimatums and abuse. What goes on behind closed doors is her secret and her secret only.

Abuse can come in many forms: physical, emotional, verbal and even sexual. The antagonist could be a husband, boyfriend or even a son. While the outburst episode is usually only ephemeral, the damage inflicted to the soul is irrevocable. Instead of opening up and seeking help, these women choose to writhe in silent agony. Ashamed and unable to extricate from their predicaments, they cave in to such execrable behaviors because they have no one else to turn to.

Victims of abuse suffer severe repercussions. Over time, the victims begin to believe that they deserve the unfair treatment, and they take the blame upon themselves. They begin to develop paranoia and grow fearful of things. They brink on the verge of depression and they think less of their achievements.

While it is easy to pass judgment as a third party and think that these women are stupid and naïve for allowing themselves to get hurt, we need to understand their plight. Some of these women are in love with their perpetrators. Weighing the pros and cons i.e. “he is a sweet guy, really”, they trivialize the beatings and the abuse. They forgive these men when they apologize profusely and they are hopeful that it won’t happen again. A mother with a son of abusive nature is likely to give in to his demands. Because of her unconditional love, she chooses to forgive and forget and allows her sons his malevolent ways.

If you are a victim of domestic violence, it’s time to listen. To quote Oprah: “if a man hits you once, he will hit you again”. A man who hits you does not love you. A man who hurls verbal abuse at you does not respect you. He is nothing more than a ticking time bomb; his next attack will come the minute his mood undulates.

Only you can make the choice to leave him. Love yourself first. You do not deserve the tormenting pain; no one does. Ending your painful journey can be difficult but it doesn’t have to be a solo trip. Relate your situation to the person you trust the most. Readily available are domestic violence help lines and women shelters, so if you feel uncomfortable talking to a closed one, reach out to these experienced parties for help.

When it is time to leave, it is best that you make a clean exit. Wipe out any trace of communication links; call history, emails, anything that will allow your abuser to track you down. Be sure to retrieve all important documents such as birth certificate and any other dossier.

If need be, you might want to contact the authorities. Men of an abusive nature aren’t likely to take your decision lightly. They will fly into an outrage and go to lengths to hunt you down. If you are unable to “vanish from the face of earth”, seek the protection of your local policemen; ensure that your safety isn’t placed in jeopardy. File a restraining order. Seek refuge at a trustable friend or family’s house.

Once you begin to settle on your new lease of life, it is important that you do not embark on your road to recovery alone. Do not be ashamed to turn to professional help. Counseling is the key to recovery. Talk about how you are dealing with your situation. Know that your past is behind you and that you are finally freed.

Exercise the smart way!

2009-05-27T19:37:00.000-07:00

Many of us know the medical benefits that come with exercising; improved blood circulation; a more alert mind; a healthier set of lungs. The obvious is also true; for guys, having a tapered hunky body greatly aids you in your quest to hook up gorgeous girls. Nobody wants to see a guy with his shirt off and his gut is screaming to get out. A nice flat stomach allows any lady to slip into a dress without having to worry about paunch-spilling.

Exercising boosts your self esteem and confidence level, because when you look good, you naturally feel good about yourself. You reap innumerable benefits when you get your heart pumping and sweat your derriere off. However, as we all know it, motivation is a bitch. It comes and goes and it is easy to fall off the wagon. All it takes is one off day and we fall prey to laziness. “It’s okay! I will work out again … on Thursday” Before we know it, it’s Sunday a.k.a. Barbeque and Beer Day.

Most exercises are nothing more than repetitions and so they become mundane chores to us. An arduous hour-long run in the trail of the park? Who wants to see trees and run round in circles? As if life doesn’t already move in circles. You want me to do crunches? I don’t want to get a migraine while working out. We don’t really see how signing a gym membership is going to help when we are going to rest on the bench and feast our eyes on the eye candies dripping with sweat.

Indeed, in order to sustain your interest in exercising, you need to jazz up your workouts. Men and women of swagger work smart and enjoy what they are doing. The same goes to your exercise regimen; spice up your routine, spend half the time less and get results twice as better! Swagger Essentials tells you how.

1) High Intensity Interval Training - Running

HIIT has become a hit with fitness instructors; it’s all they adulate. And it is rightfully so. Expunge what you remember about running 10 laps round a stadium for 40minutes. HIIT will halve your training time and have you yelping for mercy – that is if you can even catch your breath – in that short period. The reason why HIIT works so well is because when you alternate between sprinting and jogging, you target all of your muscle groups, whereas with the usual running-relentlessly routine, you are only working one core muscle.

Did we mention the routine comprises of slowing your pace to walking and taking a breather? Don’t tell others, but that’s the part we love most.

How: Warm up/run at a comfortable pace for 5 minutes.

Sprint 60 seconds

Recovery 2 minutes

Repeat 6 sets.

2) Jump

Not a fan of running? Do you feel inhibited when you arrive at the track where dozens of shirtless 6abs hunks and midriff-baring babes await you? Now you can enjoy a workout in the privacy of your own home. Jumping, or skipping if you will, is an intense exercise that will jolt your muscles BIG TIME in your first tryout.

Another fact that will be pleasing to your ears: Skipping yields results that are thrice as effective as jogging; 10 minutes of skipping equate to 30minutes of a regular run! So it is time to start jumping away! Blast your favorite music on your stereo speakers and start your workout! Imagine you are partying away in a club and be your own DJ! You can even play concert DVDs and watch the enthralling performances of your idols!

The reason why we use “jumping” is because we prefer to keep our hands free. A skipping/jumping rope will only hinder our movement and when our feet get entangled with the rope, we lose our momentum. We don’t want to risk breaking any precious memorabilia. Also, we do not have an S&M fetish, so we do not enjoy having the rope painfully slap our limbs.

3) Exercise ball

This inexpensive equipment is a gem if you hate weights, machines and the smell of sweat soaked in leather. It is easily accessible; you can perform your gravity-defying stunts in the comfort of your own house or if you are unabashed about it, you can even bring to your office and replace it as your desk chair! Just pumping the exercise ball to its full size is enough working out. Trust us. But if you’re exhilarated about your newest acquisition and disciplined by nature, you can proceed. What’s so fascinating about the exercise ball is that there is almost no limit as to what you can do with it. You can vary your workouts to target a different muscle group with each set; your glutei - for the uninitiated, it’s that perky ass you have always wanted -, biceps, abs, chest, anything!

Working out on an exercise ball also helps increase stability and balance and improves your overall coordination; we are sure you already know this, because many fear to get on the ball lest they roll and fall on their ass. If you are a naturally clumsy person, perhaps it is time to invest in an exercise ball.

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4) Sports

Put the fun in your exercises! It is of paramount importance that you relish in your exercises and what better way than a great game of sports? When you indulge in your favorite sport, your mind escapes and you don’t feel like you’re exercising. Sports usually require both body and mental concentration, and you are exercising your mind at the same time, killing two birds with one stone. Couple that with laughter and bonding time with your kakis, friends and colleague, you will find yourself leading an active and healthy lifestyle in all aspects!

Actor watch: Will Smith

2009-05-25T16:54:00.002-07:00

Will Smith. The versatile celebrity is a triple threat, having dabbled in music, television and film. To date, he has been nominated for four Golden Globes, two Academy Awards and has a bag of Grammys to his name. Born and raised in Philadelphia, Smith developed his knack for rapping. In spite of his high SAT scores, he followed his dreams; a decision he won’t be regretting anytime soon.

Smith began his music career as part of a trio with childhood friend Jeffrey and Clarence Holmes. In 1988, they won their first ever Grammy in the Rap category. Then, a young Will Smith squandered his money and underpaid his due taxes. The IRS filed a tax debt against him, and Smith was nearly declared bankrupt in 1990.

It was around this time that NBC signed Smith and centered the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air sitcom on him. Extricating himself from his money predicament, the sitcom kick-started his acting career and propelled him to fame. Smith publicly set out to achieve the goal of becoming the biggest movie star of the world. We can all take a page from Smith; in order to be successful, we need to have ambitions.

After more than a lifelong decade of acting career, he has. His most notable films include both the M.I.B. films, Independence Day, Hancock, Robot, Ali, The Pursuit of Happyness and most recently, Seven Pounds. Displaying his flair and acting chops, Smith avoids being typecast by taking on a diversified character each time he makes a film.

Named Newsweek’s most powerful actor of our time, Smith is the only actor to have eight consecutive films gross over $100 million in the box office. This unmatched feat is all the sweeter as Smith remains the only Lead Actor who has eight consecutive films open at the top spot in the box office. Popularizing the movie franchise, Smith has now become synonymous with the term, Men in Black, bringing with him an air of swagger.

The proverbial term “behind every successful man is a woman” rings true in the case of Will Smith. If not for the urging of his wife Jada Pinkett Smith, he would have turned down the role of Agent J of Men In Black; the role that catapulted him to stardom.

Proving himself to be a very talented person, Smith returned to his musician roots and released a string of singles that later became smash hits. He recorded the theme songs to his Men In Black films and just like the movies, the songs topped the charts at the time of the release. His first two solo albums sold more than 2 million copies, and were certified multi-platinum. His fourth album, Lost and Found, cemented his status as a hip hop artist.

In 2005, his dedication as a movie star was recognized when he entered in the Guinness Book of World Records for attending a record-breaking of three premieres in just a day. Instead of having relishing his fame and be contented with what he has, Smith works hard at his job - a quality all of us swaggerlites should emulate. We should never take our successes for granted.

That same year, he played host at the Live 8 concert in his hometown Philadelphia, using his fame for a good cause to do his part for the environment. He was also active in the aid of Katrina victims, donating a generous sum of money to assist them. In 2008, he voiced his political opinions by donating to the presidential campaign to elect President Obama.

Perhaps the single best comment anyone can ever give him, President Obama has given Smith the nod to play him in a movie. The possibility of a film depicting the 2008 election was not ruled out, and we might get to see Smith play the President on the big screen in time to come.

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How to improve your mental health

2009-05-25T16:54:00.001-07:00

They say that humans only use 10% of our brain power. Whether it is a myth concocted by jealous aliens, there is no haste in debunking this ‘fabrication’ just yet. If indeed we are only engaging our brains in such a miniscule percent, we should then strive to find ways to invigorate our minds on a daily basis.

It is amazing how our productivity level improves when we take the time to exercise our minds. Lethargy can greatly impede our work performance, our sex drive and it affects our behavior. If you perpetually find yourself to be tired, perhaps you should take this cue to perk up your mental health! Do not allow your brain to atrophy.

As men of swagger, it is imperative that we wield minds over bodies. With an active mind, we perform up to speed and we can surpass any work expectations. A healthy mind also equates to a happy and highly esteemed self.

1) Exercising

To empower the mind, we first need to work the physical body. Sure, exercise may just be listed on to-do chore list. It’s probably better if we stay at home and lay reclined in our couch while watching TV. We’re “resting our brains”, right? Ostensibly, we also do not have the time to run or hit the gym after a 14 hour work day. We sit at our desk and we feel lousy about our protruding stomach.

Get off your ass and put on those running shoes! Always make time (20 minutes per day) for some cardiovascular exercises or iron-pumping repetitions. Though arduous during the process, a good workout has its many benefits. Exercising sharpens your mental abilities. It kick starts your brain functions. Feeling energetic and in the zone? Go for a run during your lunch break! Your brain will thank you for it.

2) Laugh

They say laughter is the best medicine and it is not without reason. The act of laughing releases endorphins in the brain. These chemicals help to reduce pain. That is why after a good laugh, you always feel good and relieved thereafter. Laughing also takes away the stress in your life. So be sure to watch your Emmy-winning comedies and LMAO! We recommend Family Guy, 30 Rock and The Office. You’re a natural? Crack some jokes and amuse your colleagues and family members! While you’re putting your brains to good use, you are sweeping someone off his/her feet with your witty jokes too!

3) Sleep

Machines need some timeout lest they get overworked and break down and the same goes to humans. It is common knowledge that one needs to take a break in between his hectic lifestyle. We have been taught since young to adhere to a lavish, uninterrupted 8 hour sleeping pattern.

For a successful man, however, sleep is a form of elusive luxury. Some people have to work 14 hour work shifts periodically. This can be mentally taxing on you as your brain cells begin to waste away. Looking at the computer screen for many hours straight can take a toll on you. It can also strain your eyes. The best way to get around it is to have power naps. Take a 20min nap in intervals of 4 hours. When you wake up from your naps, you will find that you feel rejuvenated. That’s because your brain is well rested.

4) Eat well

Nourishment is of paramount importance if you want to keep an active and healthy mind. While junk foods are the best to indulge in, it is best to moderate the amount of intake. Research has shown that regular intake of these items helps you reduce the risk of Alzheimer’s disease: oily fish, fortified cereals, green vegetables. Fruit juices also contain much of the antioxidants that protect our body cells. So it’s time to slap on these foods onto your platter! You don’t want to achieve all the success in the world and then forget all about it when you’re in your golden years!

5) Play mind games

Of course, we’re not asking you to give false hopes to your secret admirer. There are many brain games in the market right now; some are even available free on Facebook. Need a break from Microsoft Word? Play Scrabble! For a more holistic experience, games like Brain Age and What is the size of your brain can be easily accessed on iPhone and DS Nintendo. Consisting of fairly simple brain-training activities such as 2^nd grade mental sums, pictorials match and swap games, many adults think of these games as “no brainers”, ironically enough. However, these games help to train your mind in the simplest ways and the beneficial results should not be undermined.

Perhaps, it is a little gratifying knowing your size of your brain is bigger than your colleague!

How to satisfy your man in bed!

2009-05-25T16:52:00.000-07:00

To all the women reading, get this: you are getting increasingly powerful by the day. Sisters of all generations in all parts of the world have been fighting for your liberation. In the workplace, you have earned your right to recognition and credit. Your existence is no longer decimated to that of a domestic housekeeper; running after your children and cleaning up their spit is no longer what you do all day.

Take a page from Madonna, the female sex icon of our time. Constantly pushing the envelope on the idealism of female wholesomeness, she has defied all traditional stereotypes. She released a Sex book in her prime, and she is now shacking up with someone she can be a mother to. Or Cleopatra in ancient times; her unparalleled beauty made her the luscious desire of many men. These women dare to play up their sex appeal because they are so mightily confident of themselves and well, they have SWAGGER!

So women, take the lead. Do not be a sexually deficient prude. Follow your instincts. Let go of your inner inhibitions. Forget any reservations about being called a slut. The circumstances have changed: you satisfy a man because you CAN, not because you need to.

Ready to blow your man’s mind? Follow these tips and we can assure you, your men will be begging for you to STOP!

1) Prostate massage

While this is unconventional to all the heterosexual males, it is all the craze and glory for the gay men. There is a good reason for it. Think of the prostate as the clitoris equivalent. Stimulation of the prostate can be pleasing and can lead to ejaculation of seminal fluid. Many heterosexual men shy away from this because they see it as a form of emasculation and an act of homoeroticism. Talk your man into it; tell him he would not regret letting your fingers in.

Wet your fingers and gently insert them into his toosh. Treat his hole as you would treat your vagina. Massage his anus in a slow, circular motion. Slowly thrust your fingers in and out. Don’t be surprised if he begins to gravitate and hump your fingers.

2) Get on top

One of the faux pas a woman can make is to assume the passive role throughout the entire intercourse session. Men congregate in their little beer groups and makes gibes about the girl who “just lies there”. Don’t let men do all the work! Show your interest in your man; ride on his stick to your orgasm! When you’re on top, you can optimize your sexual pleasure because you are in control.

Do not worry about men and their “ego”. Nothing turns them on more than a girl who just wants to get off.

3) You huff and you puff!

There is another lesson to learn from the story of three little pigs. Blow your guts out. Samantha Jones, the sexually promiscuous one in the Sex and the City gang once quipped, “If we could perpetually do blowjobs to every guy on earth, we would own the world.” Indeed. Men are a sucker for blowjobs; pun not intended. It is all the pleasure with none of the work. They also love the fact that they do not need to put on a condom. Savour and indulge in the sweet taste of his dick!

4) Nipples play

Often touted as white elephants, men have no use for their nipples. Unlike you, they do not produce milk. But few men have ventured into the realm of their sensitive nipples; again, we have the common warped thinking that nipple play is only for women to thank. It is up to you to change their beliefs. It’s time to give your man’s nipples its due attention. Be careful not to play with it too vigorously; you don’t want to chaff them.

Always remember the rule of friction in sex; lubricant, lubricant, lubricant. In this case, your saliva will suffice, and it’s probably kinkier to engage your wet fingers (or use your tongue to caress his nipples). As he begins to thrust you, stimulate his erected nipples, or even rub them against your own.

Trust us, he won’t last a minute longer than James Brown’s Sex Machine.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3TZyqMD5ncw]

How to get your partner in the mood?

Sex Tips For Women: How To Get Your Partner In The Mood

Places of (sex) interest

2009-05-19T07:06:00.000-07:00

Tired of the bedroom when it comes to consummating your relationship? Looking for a little excitement and sense of danger to spruce up your sex life? We at Swagger Essentials did a little detective work to present you with a list of Places to Shack Up and Orgasm! Take the triteness right out of your sex endeavors and let the unfamiliarity of these territories heighten your senses!

Cum to these places!

1) The showers

Turn up the heater. Let the vapor and the steam congeal on your body. Your body will naturally react to the heat as it charges your testosterone and libido. Feel the pleasurable sensation as the beads of water trickle down your nipple and your partner’s. Lubricant? No need for that! You are already dripping wet; both body and privates.

Another perk of sex in the showers? Cleaning up is no fuss, no muss.

2) Into the wild

Long before we had high rise buildings and lived in houses made out of bricks, we survived the wild. Equipped with keen animal instincts, we were a beast when it came to fornication. It’s time we returned to our roots. There’s something about nature that draw our senses to it. The sight of the canopies and exotic flowers beat looking at your ceiling any day.

Howl like a wolf or roar like a lion. Your neighbors can’t hear you! Feel the sunlight beat gently on your naked derriere. Breathe in the smell of fresh flowers! Just remember to bring a mat with you; the possibility of creeping insects can hurt your cause. Like, really hurt it.

3) The office

Many people associate the office with stress. What's little known is that the same adrenaline rush, when channelled properly, can charge your sex drive. By nightfall, when everyone has left and the quietude takes over, the office is a great place for kinky sex. So invite your boyfriend or girlfriend over for some feel good time!

Think about it. There’s furniture everywhere! Want to have chair sex? Take your pick; the office is lavish with all sorts of chair. You can even be experimental and do a full swing with the roll-able ones. Want to do it up in the pantry room? It’s all yours. Hate your boss? Do it up her desk and have your partner ejaculate in her favorite mug!

The next day, while sitting at your desk, you will reminisce the good sex you had the night before. It takes away all the stress of the work. Instant stress relaxant.

P/s: You also save on hotel expenses.

4) The beach

Experience the tingly sensation of sand rubbing against your back. Enjoy the cold sea breeze as it gently blows in your face (and penis/ vagina). What a perfect romantic night it is; you and your lover are both stark naked, enjoy the warmth of each other bodies. The moonlight shines and the stars twinkle high up in the star. Passionate sex is always the best.

The danger of being caught lurks and your primal and sexual instincts go into overdrive. Put on your best show if someone else is watching.

Who says sex has to be confined to the four walls?

Put some Swag in your Shag!!! - Sex Essentials

2009-05-18T07:46:00.000-07:00

Men all around the world echo the term with a sense of intimidation. Some chooses to eschew the topic entirely, because they have never known how to please a woman that way. Indeed, female orgasms are elusive and aren’t as straight-forward as the male’s. You cannot be sure until and unless your partner ejaculates; yes, females ejaculate - or squirt - too when in their body is in a heightened state of arousal.

Admit it. Thanks to magnanimousness on your girlfriends’ part; faking orgasms to boast your ego, you do not really know if you are doing the right thing. You can’t consult your Casanova of a buddy, who has been making his rounds as a Sex God because pride gets in your way. All of the girls are begging to “If you see-k him” while you wallow in self pity. Don’t fret we will help you put some swag in your shag.

The truth of the matter is that a man of swagger knows how to arouse his woman. We know it is tough work; juggling between developing confidence, speaking well, being well mannered and now, performing exceptionally well in the sack. But hey, if you want the ladies to keep you, you have got to up your game and swagger. And that means putting effort in your bedroom skills!

Luckily for you, all the tips that you have previously picked up with Swagger Essentials will come in handy. Chivalry, confidence and swagger. To a woman, sex starts way before the lights dim. It begins right at the moment you pick her up at her house. A romantic night of dinner drives her libido to full gear. Be attentive to her needs and listen to what she says. Shower her with compliments and flirt with her gently.

Bite her ear when you two get in the car. Give her a hickey or two. Tell her how much you desire her and we guarantee she’ll be more than ready at night. Stimulate her mind and stroke her sensuality & ego. Let her know she’s beautiful.

Soon, you two lovebirds will arrive at the bedroom. The clothes come flying off. Now, remember, it is not the measure of your girth that matters; it’s what you do with it!

1) Foreplay

Men are dogs. When you think of sex, you immediately want to pull down your pants, stick it in and be done with it. This could work if you were pleasuring yourself with a flesh light or a sex toy. A prostitute would probably commend you for your skills, or lack of, only because you’re paying her for it. It wouldn’t with a dignified lady. Think of foreplay as basic courtesy and manners. When approaching a woman for the first time, you don’t immediately stick your tongue down her throat, do you?

Skipping the foreplay is a faux pas that many men make. Cuddling, kissing or even biting her nipples are little gestures that make her warm up to you. Even a nymphomaniac has her own set of inhibitions. Chances are, when your lady is shy, she cannot get into a state of arousal. Her mind is bombarded with thoughts such as, “how much longer?” “This is torture”. An orgasm isn’t going to look her way when she wants to scurry to the finishing line.

Slowly explore her body parts with your mouth; kissing her clitoris (if that is your thing--- we know it’s hers!) with your tongue or licking her pubic area awaken her senses, letting her know that you love every inch of her body.

2) Fingers

It is no secret that women turn to the use of their fingers when it comes to sexual pleasure. What men lack in, women make it up with their fingers. Take this as a tip. Employ your fingers to good use. God gave us two ears and a mouth because He wanted us to listen more. Using the same logic, it is likely that He gave us 10 fingers and 1 penis because we are meant to excite our women with our fingers!

There are many ways to increase intimacy with your fingers. Gently caress her hair. Naughtily rub her erected nipples with your fingers. Prepare her for sexual penetration by sliding your fingers into her genital. React to the rhythm of her body. One … two … three fingers.

3) Communication

Communication is instrumental in helping her attain that orgasm. Nothing kills passionate sex like silence. A little soft moaning doesn’t take away your manliness; in fact, it helps her get over her inhibitions. Of course, when you are done growling like a dog, it is time to focus your attention on her. In between your heavy panting, tell her how good it feels to be locked in this position with her. Compliment her beautiful body and her natural scent.

Take it up a notch and ask her what she would like to do. If she wants you to kiss her neck, do so. Her wish is your command. Putting her needs before yours lets her know you’re working hard to please her.

Talk confidently dirty to her, and never, ever ask cliché questions like “whose pussy is this?” or ” who’s your daddy?”…..ok maybe” who you daddy ?”. Bottom line, don’t be corny.

4) Take it out, wait and put it back in

In order to prolong the session, your little brother needs to catch a break. There are many things you can do to sustain her interest interim. Give her a well deserved blowjob or finger her. Ask her the positions she would like to try and prep her up for her new position. When your little brother has rested enough, it’s time to go back to work.

Be a man, be confident, take control, unless she wants to handle the stick for a while, and then break her ass off (figuratively). Once you know what she likes, deliver it in a way that she has never gotten it before. If you talk big, back that shit up.

5) Keep your eyes open

Unless of course, you’re trying to imagine it is the porn star of your dreams you’re shacking up with, then, by all means, close your eyes. If not, make eye contact with her. Lock your eyes in with hers. Examine her body; they indicate whether she is in a state of arousal; there’s no way you can fake erected nipples, unless you have set the thermostat to below 10 degrees.

Besides, making love with your eyes closed – nothing screams more pubescent than that!

6) Take it slow, then vrrrooom!

Amateurs have a tendency of jamming their penis straight into the vagina. They pound away like a sledgehammer, thinking the faster they hit, the higher the chance of her orgasm. Wrong. It is an utter mistake. Not only is it uncomfortable, it is painful. All that jabbing makes a sore vagina and you can be sure she will make all sort of excuses the next time.

Instead, teasingly slid your penis against her privates before making your entrance. When thrusting, do it a circular motion; that will please her to no end. Remember the hare and the tortoise story; there is no rush at all. Chances are, if you pound away too early, you are only digging your own grave with a premature ejaculation.

Savor this romantic moment and do not be quick to end it. When you are about to reach the point of no return, be sure to take flight and give it all your might. Start slow and end violently. Have earth shattering sex towards the end. Break your bed! Moan as loud as you wish!

There’s nothing more anticlimactic than a quiet orgasm affair.

Let's take about sex

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BsqvuG0ZSbs]

Sports Essentials: Lebron James

2009-05-16T07:20:00.000-07:00

Name: Lebron James

Born: December 30, 1984

Occupation: Basketball player

It’s hard to miss Lebron James. Standing at 6'8", the freakishly tall 24 year old basketball player towers over just about anybody, drawing attention to him even if he wasn’t already a celebrity sportsman. Born in Akron, Ohio, the American professional player began honing his skills as a starter at the age of 14.

A bona fide national treasure, James was tipped and promoted to be an eminent NBA superstar while still in high school. In 2003, his status as a talented basketball player was cemented when he was selected as the number one pick amongst the other NBA draftees. Long before his professional career even took off, he already signed a multi-million dollar shoe contract with Nike.

Since being drafted into the league, the Cleveland 23 jersey-spotting sportsman has made his mark and presence known in the industry. At only 24, James has set several NBA “youngest records”, including being bestowed with the title of “Rookie of the Year” and the coveted title of “2009 NBA Most Valuable Player”.

Whenever James enters the playing field, he strikes. Whether he is gifted with a superhuman talent, we do not know. What we do know is his professional slate shows no intentions of slowing down. To date, he is the youngest player to reach 12,000 points in the scoring system. His statistics show that he averages 30 points per game in any season.

His stunning records did not go unnoticed as he became a member of the United States’ National Basketball team. In the 2008 Olympics qualifier round, James scored an amazing 31 points, the most recorded by any American player. The basketball team later proved to be the country’s priding joy when they brought home the Gold medal.

With such remarkable achievements, it is little wonder that James has received national attention. He has secured a string of endorsement deals, spanning from Sprite to Upper Deck and most notably, Nike. With Nike, he even dabbled in the production of 6 uniquely-Lebron shoe styles.

In 2007, he was named #1 in Forbes’ Top 20 earners under 25, coming in with annual earnings of $27million. True to his nickname, “King James”, his generosity and kindness qualities are befitting of a king. In the spirit of charity, he donated his prized possession, a Kia to the Akron Urban League when he won the NBA MVP this year.

While his professional stats are laudable, many who have met him say that it was his personality that made an impression. Often described as hardworking and humble, he chose his alma mater as the premise to receive the special NBA MVP award.

Dedicating the award to his mother and teammates, James is an exemplary example to all of us. We should never stick our noses up in the air when we achieve success; every ounce of it, we owe it to the people surrounding us.

Using his success for a good cause, he publicly expressed his support for the President by donating $20,000 to a committee that elected Barack Obama. In October that same year, he exerted his influence by gathering some 20,000 people for a 30-minute Barack Obama TV advertisement viewing. His antics have encouraged the younger generation to become aware and active in important political affairs.

Proving himself to be a versatile personality, he took centre stage at the 2007 ESPY Awards, sharing hosting duties with comedian Jimmy Kimmel. In other forays, he reprised his role as a host at the 33rd season premiere of comedy show Saturday Night Live. Be it the arena or the stage, James excels in his endeavors.

Perhaps to give recognition to his expanding stardom, Vogue featured James on their cover, making him the first black man to grace the front page, and the third male celebrity to do so.

He also appeared on the GQ February 2009 cover. Taking the time to participate in a friendly basketball faceoff with GQ editors, he displayed true sportsmanship and humility. How many celebrity professional players out there are willing to take even an hour off their schedule to play with our neighbourly faces? Not many.

Needless to say, his team won by a landslide.

While many 24 year olds are busy squandering whatever money they earn, James has always been a financially savvy person. As if his field domination wasn’t enough, he has made building a billion-dollar empire his ambition. And while we can only consult our financial analysts next door, James, being the megastar that he is, takes his advice from one person.

The person is Warren Buffet; second richest man in the world. Long before he even came to eminence in the NBA, James looked to Buffet for some financial tips. He later remarked how the latter had advised him to trust in his own instincts and to never regret a setback.

Buffet has even admitted to being an avid fan of the sportsman, one time even wearing a “Witness” shirt to a Cleveland game. When a multi billionaire and investment mogul who is almost thrice your age adulates you, you know you’re a man of swagger.

It is truly baffling to imagine the magnitude of James’ success, especially when he has yet to transit into his quarter-life crisis. We draw inspiration from this rising young star; when pursuing our dreams, we should always give it our best shots!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yh6vfS1L0e4]

Ace that job interview! - Swagger Essentials

2009-05-16T04:34:00.000-07:00

The moment of truth has come. Seated alone in a chillingly quiet room, your heart rate accelerates with every waking minute. You peer from the corner of your eyes to check out the competition; there’s no competition. Decked out in your suit, you look to be the most qualified candidate for the job. The door of the judgment room opens and someone steps out, barely and clumsily managing between her portfolios and her final handshake.

“Pfft. I can do better”

We admire your confidence and true enough, you need that extra dosage to excel. In between waiting and ridiculing your competitors, here are some pre-requisites that you can do to take your mind off the pressure. You should be doing these exercises while preparing for your interview

1) Turn off your cell phone. We are not even going to tell you what to do in the case where your cell phone goes off; it shouldn’t go off in the first place!

2) Check that you have brought your résumé. Reading through your résumé helps to keep your thoughts coherent and organized.

3) Gently flip through your portfolio; make sure your articles are in order of presentation.

4) Tidy yourself up. Make sure that no strand of hair is sticking out or no zipper has come undone

5) If the company has a newsletter, quickly skim through the material to refresh your understanding of the company. Be sure that the copy is updated, of course. You don’t want to be talking about their 2004 economic review.

Your name is called and you’re up. You steal a quick moment to inhale little gasps of air. You think about how important it is for you to clinch this job and how happy you will be when you do. Your financial independence relies on this one shot. Go show them what you’re made of!

An interview process is very much like a beauty pageant. Expect scrutiny the moment you walk in.

1) Do not trigger the panic button if you see a panel of interviewers

Just remember the familiar faces on your friendly reality TV show, American Idol. In every panel, there will always be a Simon, Paula, Randy and Kara. Simon is the one who will have you writhing in mental torment while Paula is there to soothe your mind. You do wonder if she has a vote. Randy is the cool guy who appears intimidating at first, but slowly warms up to you. Kara… Kara is a gem. She is the one who will laugh at your jokes and be excited just about anything you say. But make no mistake; she has a mind of her own.

Within the first three minutes of your interview, you should be able to classify the panel of interviewers. During the interview, make eye contact with ALL the interviewers. You don’t want to focus all of your attention on Paula, however ravishing she may look, when her vote doesn’t count.

It is imperative that you make a mental note of your interviewers’ personality. Why? Because cracking a joke is probably like pissing on his pants to Simon. When the joke goes unimpressed and Simon stares you down, you get apprehensive and you begin to stutter. You then try to explain your unfunny joke, which in a parallel world, was really funny.

Conversely, when the joke is appreciated, you feel a surge of confidence.

For Simon and Randy type, you do want to talk at length about your accolades and skills and what you can bring to the table etc. For Paula and Kara, look at them when you are talking about your personality and work experiences.

If you think about it, it’s better when a panel of interviewers is deciding your sentence (we do think of job interviews as excruciating). A good mix of interviewers allows you to play around with your personality. Show that you can be an asset to the company but still remain a good fun.

Of course, the same logic can be applied to one-on-one interview. Obviously we are putting our lucky charms on getting either Paula or Kara-type interviewers.

And don’t stereotype. We have met female Simons who throw scathing remarks at you and male Karas who just can’t stop gushing.

2) Extend that handshake

Handshakes are the best way to break the ice. If your palm is sweaty thanks to nervousness, wipe it off before you gruesomely wedge your palm

into your interviewer’s. Exchange body fluid in the first 5 seconds of meeting a stranger is frowned upon.

You know the drill. Smile and give a firm handshake. Chances are, unless your interview is scheduled in the early morning, your interviewer will be less than enthusiastic about a handshake. A good handshake should last no longer than 2 seconds and requires no exertion of strength.

3) Answer in a succinct manner

Of course, your answers should go further than a dichotomous yes or no but interviewers need not hear about the time you spent three hours at a grocery store because you couldn’t decide whether or not to buy cottage cheese or mozzarella cheese and the reason why you couldn’t make a decision is because since you were little your parents had been ruling your life and you depended on them to plan your day and even now you strongly oppose gay marriages because your parents are Christian extremists who believe that marriages should be between a man and a woman and even though you believe in equal rights you decide that your parents should be right because they have been right your whole life, except the time they took you to the doctor to have a circumcision when you were ten, that was just plain awful but you forgave them because parents are parents and they have your best interests at heart.

You get our gist? Even if they start off on a fresh day, interviewers lose interest after two sentences. Do not try to impress by overwhelming them with life stories. Test the waters by piquing their interests. Drop a few hints here and there; “oh, my brother fought in the Iraq war” and then see how it goes. If they follow up with a question, it means they are interested. If not, move on to the next topic quickly, because they are probably wondering what an Iraq war is.

4) Make your weaknesses a strength

Do not fall into the pitfalls of citing your weaknesses as weaknesses. Would you hire someone who blatantly advertises himself as lazy, greedy and has a habit of flashing himself? NO! This is one trick question that many interviewees have been fooled into answering.

Don’t even try to justify your weaknesses by peppering it with false claims. “I’m a procrastinator, but I will change once you hire me” Unless it is a rehabilitation centre you’re checking into, we seriously doubt that.

We are not asking you to lie, but a man of swagger knows how to present himself in an apt manner.

“I just can’t say no to clients who need help, because I believe in being a problem –solver, but sometimes I ought to really just let things be”

We’re hooked.

5) Be a tad conceited

Hey, you worked hard and you have earned the right to flaunt your achievements, so why not? But be careful about treading precariously on the fine line of being prideful and just being annoyingly boastful.

The former; taking pride in your work, is about being confident of your work, knowing that you have been there every step of the way since conception. You’re proud of the outcome and credit is rightfully due. You assure your future employers that you are capable of quality work and you can add spice to their company.

The latter; being boastful, is going into that room of judgment and telling your potential bosses that they need to revamp their company, rethink a mission statement and fire all their ground level staff. To be boastful is to act like you’re already the CEO of the company, even if you’re not interviewing for that position.

Be mindful of the tone of your voice and the things that you say. While it is good to show initiative, being overly eager can hurt your cause.

Check this space for even more tips on how to ace that interview!

Useful links

BBC News How to write a CV

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[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tRek-RL3mJ8]

Celebrity Watch: Lil Wayne

2009-05-16T04:32:00.000-07:00

In an industry where hip hop artistes propagate faster than the swine flu virus, it is not easier carving your name and making your presence known. The music industry is as fickle as the weather these days; one day you’re hot stuff, topping Swagger Essentials’ lists, the next you find yourself desperately releasing a sex tape that fans no longer care.

Let’s face it; hip hop musicians are as dispensable as a condom. The reason is because the industry is currently saturated with too many aspiring acts with little to no talent. Some think that mainstream hip hop music is just about rattling off a couple of rhyming words. It is not. At the end of the day, talent is still a requisite in this business. True talent always shines through and for one to generate staying power, you need that.

Meet 26 year old American rapper, Lil’ Wayne. Unlike some forgettable one hit wonders, the 4 time Grammy award winning artiste has had a career in hip hop music since he was 11. He wrote his first rap song when he was only 8 years old, displaying a knack for freestyle rapping. When he turned 15, he was part of a 4 piece rap group called Hot Boys. The group went on to make some modest achievements, but soon disbanded in 2003.

It was Wayne’s solo career that catapulted him to fame. At 17, while still part of Hot Boys, he released his debut solo album to great success. The album climbed to the #3 spot on Billboards. His next two albums, Lights out and 500 Degreez, however, failed to surpass the expectations of his predecessor.

Undeterred by the lack luster sales and dissipated interest, Lil Wayne made a comeback in 2004 with his fourth album, Tha Carter. The album went on to sell over 1 million albums, earning him the recognition he deserved. That following year, he was named President of Cash Money, his recording company, and he founded his own sister label, Young Money Entertainment.

He took the next 2 years slow; preferring instead to focus on collaborations with fellow hip hop artistes. He worked with other notable celebrities such as Kanye West, Jay Z, Busta Rhymes and Chris Brown on a few projects. In 2007, he was named ‘Rapper of the Year’ by New Yorker magazine and ‘Workaholic of the Year’ by GQ magazine.

Indeed, there isn’t an easy way to success, and Lil Wayne’s unwavering efforts should be an inspiration to us. Many people think it’s easy to strike out as a hip hop artiste, but it isn’t. It takes years of hard work to come close to eminence.

Lil Wayne’s efforts paid off hugely in 2008. Tha Carter III, his latest offering, was released to huge fanfare. The album was originally slated for a 2007 release, but was delayed due to unfortunate widespread leaks. The album was released in the second quarter of 2008 and sold more than a million copies in its first week of release; the success of which was unprecedented in 3 years. It was also a surprise because the music industry was at the time in a sales slump. Lil Wayne had created a new benchmark.

What quickly ensued with the success of the album were of course Wayne’s first accomplishments. His first single, Lollipop, became his first Billboard topper. Soon after, his album was certified 2 times platinum, a feat that was hard to achieve these days. Perhaps as a form of salutation to his work, he went on to garner 8 Grammy and 12 BET nominations; both of which he bagged many of the prestigious awards.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eTF6N7EWzOA]

Not one to relent in his works, he once again collaborated with many top notch artistes such as Usher, Akon, Keri Hilson and of course, T.I. on the song Swagger Like Us, which we love. His dedication and hardworking attitude are two traits we should all seek to emulate.

Perhaps what is little known about Lil’ Wayne is that he is quite smart a person as he is as good a rapper. In 2005, he enrolled at the University of Houston, taking up political science. With a fervent passion for sports, he has published writing efforts at ESPN, having dabbled in journalism at the ESPN Super Bowl party. He appeared as a guest debater on a segment of ESPN First Take.

We have to admit; brains and hip hop music? That’s the ultimate recipe for swagger.

How to land a job in a recession - Swagger Essentials

2009-05-16T04:31:00.000-07:00

So you have been waiting with baited breath for the phone call of your life. You have sent out your résumés and CVs to potential companies, hoping to land your dream job. Your cell phone goes off, and the words on your receiving end ring like a Christmas jingle.

“You have been shortlisted for an interview.”

You gasp for air, trying to contain your exhilaration yet appear nonchalant over the phone. You ended the call with a very pleasant thank you. Even for a casual conversation, you did great. You hang up and you sift through your work diary, trying to recall which company it is you tried out for. Yes, in all of that excitement you missed the introduction.

It is true what they say; just being shortlisted is half the battle won. As we all know it, the interview process is pivotal to victory. We have yet to meet a person who landed a high salary job through presentation of his résumé alone. You can have the most impressive résumé, consummated with years of education at Harvard, Stanford and still find yourself stranded. Book smart is a thing of the past.

While education history is still relevant, employers are on the prowl for candidates who are confident, street smart, interesting and enthusiastic. Even a dash of humor can’t hurt you. And as a man of swagger, these traits may come naturally to you, but sometimes we crack under severe scrutiny and intense pressure. We lose that personality of ours in the short 20 minutes.

Remember this is not your high school part time retail job. You cannot just “wing it” for an interview and expect to land the job. Employers are not just interviewing you; they have seen their fair share of candidates and they can see right through you if you are ill-prepared.

What do you do when your future employer is staring you down because your joke went unimpressed? Fret not. Swagger Essentials is here to tide you over the battle of your life. The preparation for your interview starts right at the moment you disconnect the call. Here are pre-interview tips that would gear you up for the moment of truth!

1) Research the company

Do your homework. Whether you want to check up on the company’s portfolio or check out the eye candies of your company, do your homework. All thanks to technology, information is widely available these days. You will definitely be quizzed on what you know of the company and what you can bring to the table. Keep your eyes open on areas of interest and expertise. Look at their clientele relations; your vast knowledge of the financial world will come in handy if they deal with local banks.

We’re not sure if this would constitute as stalking, but we do believe it helps to calm your mind when you know a little bit more about the person who’s interviewing you. Look him up in social network sites such as Facebook or Myspace. After all, these sites are there at your disposal, why not use it? It’s fairly simple; just enter the name of the company in the search engines and a couple of results should return. If you’re lucky, your interviewer has an account.

Just be sure to turn on the privacy setting so that they do not know you have viewed their profiles. Also, do not weave in any personal information into your conversation, like “Hey! I saw on your Facebook that you like Grey’s Anatomy. I’m a big fan too!”

S.T.A.L.K.E.R!

2) Portfolio

Think of your portfolio as your lucky charm. The feeling of consternation arises with every interview and you can find yourself fumbling over the topic of discussions. You might feel that the interview is beginning to be a drag of dichotomous answers. During the course of the interview, when you feel that things aren’t looking up for you, fish out your portfolio.

A well prepared portfolio can turn things into your favor. Immediately, you spruce up the interview with visuals and exciting ideas and actual presentation of your capabilities. You now have the attention of your employers on you.

A common question with portfolios is “what to include?” Here is where your research comes in handy. Select the few articles from your previous projects that you think would interest your interviewers the most. Throw in a few others that have little pertinence just to display your all rounded versatility. Only include articles that show your flair and talent and have both artistic and commercial values.

The next question at hand is, “should I really be showing my portfolio?” If you’re asking this question, then chances are, the answer is no.

3) Dress the part

Unless you’re auditioning for a Broadway musical, lose the Charlie Chaplin get-up. Unless you’re looking to supplant the person who is interviewing you AKA CEO of the company, lose the blazer. Let’s face it. Interview is just a fancy euphemism for first impression. Whether it is your ‘style’ or not, don’t even consider wearing a wife beater to an interview.

For the fellas, choosing an outfit is very straightforward. Just throw on a shirt and a pants and put on a tie and you’re ready to go. You look dapper for your corporate job interview with minimal preparation. Just be sure not to wear overtly bold colors or over accessorize with your cuff links.

For the ladies, dressing up is a little bit more complicated. There is no need to slip into your gowns just yet. A simple power suit would suffice. While old dogs would appreciate the gesture, conservative hags would not take too kindly to cleavages and skin. Your safest option is still your power suit, which immediately steals attention while sending a message, “I’m serious business.”

If you’re interviewing for the job of a creative person; the kind of culture where most people go to work in their berms and slippers (we envy you!), your personality is reflected in your choice of dressing. Ditch the usual shirt and pants routine; take it up a notch and pull out your most exciting outfit! Just remember, it is not Halloween.

4) Smile

And not just to the panel of interviewers seated right across you in that stark cold room. From the moment you come striding in through that front door, smile. Many people neglect this because they think that they need not impress their future colleagues. They couldn’t be any farther from the truth.

Flaunting that engaging smile of yours shows that you are at ease and not in the least bit apprehensive. You exude confidence when you smile. Perception is reality; when you think that you are not nervous, you aren’t.

It is important to greet everyone you meet with a smile. See someone in the pantry room making coffee? Don’t automatically assume it’s an intern. Make sure you acknowledge her presence. Who knows, she might be on the Board of Directors waiting to interview you. Be sure to also chat heartily with the receptionist, because she has the most dealings in the company. You never know if she’s the one hitting the sack with your CEO; a receptionist works directly under the boss. A few brownie points can help you gain a foot in the company.

So, unless you’re missing a tooth from a street fight the day before, smile.

Some useful links:

Should I wear something revealing?

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Writing your resume

Woman of color, woman of quality: Beyonce

2009-05-11T22:27:00.001-07:00

In this week’s edition of ‘Women of color, women of quality’, we bring you Beyonce.

Beyonce Knowles

Born: September 4, 1981

Occupation: Actress, singer-song writer

Almost everything Beyonce touches turns to gold. A former member of the extremely successful trio, Destiny Child, Beyonce is one of the few artistes who managed to carve a name for her even after disbandment. With 5 Billboard number 1 songs, 12 top ten hits, countless endorsement deals, 5 Grammy awards scooped up in a year, Beyonce is looking to be in for the long haul.

A highly versatile performer; she is a mezzo-soprano who has been known to pull off long notes while dancing her bootylicious derrière off, she is one of the very few talented artistes who rarely has an off performance.

Her success isn’t limited to just the boundaries of the music industry. She is often lauded for her performances on the silver screen. Showing off her acting chops, she has starred in the critically acclaimed movie, Dream girl, where she was nominated for a Golden Globe. This year, in between rehearsing for her tour and releasing an album, she found time to act in a thriller-form movie titled Obsessed. Again, her performance was critically well-received, and even more notably this time, because it was her first venture at not playing the role of a singer.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VPWBsvV8uxs]

Beyonce Knowles is the epitome of glamour. She always appears at the red carpets looking like a million dollars. There is always this sparkle in her. She speaks in a low and calm voice but make no mistake. Once she takes center stage, she transforms into a hard, ferocious and in her own words, a fierce entertainer.

One of the most hardworking entertainers, it is a surprise that fame has yet to get to her. While her female coworkers are busy working the tabloids; flashing their crotches, getting pulled over for DUI, she has always maintained a clean tabloid slate. A woman of quality, she doesn’t get involved in the dark side of the business; eschewing the use of drugs and even smoking. We don’t think we have even heard her use any four-letter word before!

She has dedicated her cause to helping children and youths. Using her innate talents for a good cause, she co wrote the song, Stand Up for Love, which was the anthem of World Children’s Day in 2005. In 2008, she generously donated $100,000 to relief efforts, benefitting victims of Hurricane Ike.

Beyonce has always appeared to be calm and collected. She always has a genuine smile and she keeps her private life to herself, preferring instead to discuss more about her career. Industry watchers have deemed her antics ‘mild’ and ‘boring’ but hey, that is a woman of swagger. She doesn’t need to play up her wild side to get attention.

Rihanna, the next victim

2009-05-11T22:25:00.000-07:00

True to the title of her highly successful album, Rihanna is a good girl gone bad. Recent explicit pictures of her posing stark naked have surfaced. One of the pictures has her placing her hand suggestively on her privates. The pictures are currently circulated on entertainment websites such as Perez and ATRL.

While celebrity sex tapes and racy pictures should come as no shock to anyone; to name a few, Miley Cyrus, Colin Farell, Paris Hilton (albeit one can argue Paris has her sex tapes to thank for her socialite career) are all 'victims' of leaked footages, Rihanna's picture controversy comes hot on the tails of a disturbing abuse fiasco.

Chris Brown, her ex boyfriend, also the antagonist in her recent domestic violence case, appeared in the batch of photos; begging the question: Was he responsible for the leak? Brown’s representatives have denounced any connections on Brown’s part in this fiasco, while spokespersons for Rihanna have clamped down on websites and urging them to remove these pictures.

But, as we all know it, graphical celebrity photos will never be fully eradicated on the Internet. Next up on the calendar of Rihanna/Chris Brown watchers? A sex tape slated to hit the web very soon.

It is a pity that these private pictures (no pun intended) have been fed to us. Rihanna, having re-emerged from her February incident when she attended the Met life gala this week, is poised for a very successful comeback. She appeared ferocious and in charge, earning the respect of ours for overcoming her problems.

We do not know if this would negate the great publicity she has had earlier this week; after all, we live in a time where you might see a web video of your parents engaging in a sexual romp.

And while we encourage artistic expression and being comfortable in your own skin, we have but one advice for the ladies: Stop taking pictures of you in a sexual position! They take the classiness right out of you. You will be nothing more than masturbatory material! Do not allow your boyfriends to manipulate you!

And yes, there is no wrath like the vengeance of an abusive and jealous ex boyfriend. You can find yourself the next victim of a sex tape scandal.

Chivalry

2009-05-11T22:22:00.000-07:00

Imagine a bright knight in shining armor, galloping on a white pony and coming to a mighty halt to help his fair lass back up on her feet. Now, imagine death. The white pony trips over a rock, throwing the bright knight forward. His armor breaks off at the sheer impact of the fall and the million pieces cut the fair lass.

As legend has it, that is how chivalry died. In more recent times, chivalry died when the social paradigm of women shifted. There is a general misconception that since women these days are getting increasingly independent, there is no need to shower them with kind gestures.

You cannot be any farther from the truth if you think that. Women these days DON’T need to be at a man’s beckoning call, but they deserve to be treated like a queen.

So gentlemen, it is time to pull up those socks. Chivalry can be your strongest point to impress a lady. Chivalrous acts tell your woman that you respect her and that you put her needs before yours. And that includes her orgasm before yours.

Well, getting her to reach her elusive orgasm can be a daunting task, and some guys can never fulfill that aspect, so we have put together a list of chivalrous acts that are simpler and easier to achieve. Keep these in minds and you will sweep your date off the ground.

1) Hold the door and hold the lift

One of the most basic chivalrous acts that, heck, we expect even our neighbors to do. Holding the door and letting her enter before you tell her that she cum, we mean, comes, before you. It tells her that you put her needs before your own and that you will always be her backing.

2) Help share her burden

And by burden, we don’t mean her swag. We cannot even begin to tell you how frustrating it is to us to see guys holding their girlfriends’ handbag. It makes us chuckle though; we think the boyfriend is actually a closeted gay man who gets together with his girlfriend just so he can parade around town holding that Prada purse.

So, by burden, we really mean all the other stuff that she has her hands full with. This can be her company laptop, her shopping bags, her piles of work etc. Flaunt your hard muscles and put them to good use by helping her share the load. Just leave the bag out of it.

3) Help her take that leap

One of the things men should be thankful is never ever having to wear heels. Heels do to a woman what masturbation does to a man; it hurts, after a while. Hence, when approaching a step or even a drain, take her hand and help her cross over. Give her a little support. Through small acts like these, you’re letting her know that you will be there through every hurdle and obstacle too.

4) Give her some warmth

We know the kind of magic the cold weather is capable of. Nipples. Really hard nipples. We also understand your refusal to give up your coat; you don’t want to miss a free show. Yet, when you relinquish your outerwear and give it her, you’re being generous. Besides, why settle for a feast of the eyes when you can earn the right to snuggle up?

5) Bring her home

Her home, of course! Always offer to drive her home. If for some reason you’re not able to fetch her (like you’re only 15), see her home. Take the longer ride home and enjoy her company. Your initiative to send her home gives her a sense of security. And women love men who make them feel safe. If you can’t accompany her, at the very least, see her to the train station or hail a cab for her.

6) Introduce her to every familiar face you meet

Have you ever gone out with your friends when they bump into their own friends and they never bother to introduce you? You feel snubbed, like you’re invisible or something. Now, imagine what that can do to your lady friend. If you’re serious about this woman, be sure to introduce her to your friends as you see them. It lets her know that she has a place in your heart and that she isn’t just “anybody” to you.

You can even test the waters by making a joke that she’s your steady girlfriend. If she smiles and responds well to it, that means you’re in for the next step!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IO_PqCRMFwo]

Increase your financial IQ !

2009-05-06T16:46:00.001-07:00

So the economic crisis has gotten to you like a bout of rash. You begin to examine every aspect of your finances in order to minimize any loss. The perceptive you know the importance of being financially savvy, but you don’t know where to start. Fret not; Swagger Essentials is here to increase your financial IQ!

1) Being paid what you’re worth

This is a tough one. With the economic downturn, the common catchphrase heard all around is, “be glad you still have a job”. Indeed, in this hour of uncertainty, it is nice to know you can still afford your 3 meals. Many people are settling for the next job they see on Classifieds and they are willing to cut their own pay by half.

While we salute their humility, it is not something we would advise. Taking a huge pay cut and still doing the same amount of work can be detrimental to your self esteem. Evaluate your own skills, know your strengths, and strike at the next golden job opportunity. We’re not raising your hopes that you will definitely find a high-paying job. We’re saying at least find one that more or less matches your pay.

Besides, we all know of a boss who is paid what he doesn’t deserve, no?

2) Clear all your credit card debts!

So you took our advice and cashed your credit card whenever you made a transaction. You earned all your reward points, and you even got a few good bargains thanks to tied in promotions with your bank credit card. Now the time of the month has come (no, not your menses) and you need to pay off your debt. You clear only half of your debt and you leave the rest till next month.

That is not a wise call. As you should know by now, credit card interests are almost exorbitant. While swiping that card gives you a taste of your status and can be very satisfying, you need to know when to stop. There is nothing wrong with spending your own money, just make sure to spend what you can.

Which brings us to our next point.

3) Live within your budget

Do you often find yourself having to scrimp and save by mid month? Do you find yourself having to borrow money; however much, from your peers? These are tell-tale signs that you are NOT living within your budget. You blow your expenses the week you get your pay check, because you fail to plan.

Budget might be a turn off word to many, but at least it saves you pride when you need not steal from your friends. Many people fail to factor in their daily expenses when it comes to apportioning their money.

Spending $20 on food per day might seem like a negligible amount that needs not be factored in our budget, but that is if you’re only planning to eat for the one day. Multiply that amount and a quarter of your income is lost. That is the pitfall for most people; they do not consider their daily expenses when it comes to spending.

They have this mindset: “if I spend less on food this month, I will be able to afford that Rolex watch!” And then they realized they made a miscalculation and it’s too late.

4) Invest, invest, invest

Expunge the thinking that stock investments are like gambling. Stock investing requires knowledge, strategies and proper execution; it is not grasping at straws, a nature typically of gambling. Read up on your alternatives to make even more money! The platform is already available for you; it is your choice if you want to take the plunge.

Even for the most conservative persons, you can still invest in mutual funds, which are relatively safer. Take up an investment plan with a reputable bank! Don’t just be mother goose and sit on your money; savour the sweet taste of high interest rates!

A man of intelligence knows an opportunity when he sees one!

Where are your manners?

2009-05-05T16:11:00.000-07:00

When we were little, our parents taught us the importance of basic courtesy and manners. We learn quickly to say “thank you” when we receive something from others and we greet our elders respectfully. We knock before we enter a room and we ask for permission to change the channel.

Yet somewhere in between puberty and hormonal changes, we’ve forgotten our manners. We no longer regard the feelings of others and we lash out and swear at them. Our apologies come with double meanings.

“I’m sorry, but I’m NOT sorry”

There is a reason why manners, like basic survival skills have been imparted from our ancestors to us. When a child runs around spewing profanities, it is not him who gets faulted. The parents get the blame for allowing such incivility. Appalled onlookers point their fingers at the parents and their good names are tarnished.

Sometimes, when we’re in the company of close friends, we forget the need for manners. We choose instead to use street talk and lingos to communicate with each other. “Stop being an ass!!!” “You’re a faggot!”

Not only is this kind of talk rude; when exacted improperly, it can land you a potential law suit.

We live in an era where manners are chief to surviving in the world. First impressions are formed right from the moment you exchange your handshake. If you snub someone who extends her hand to shake yours, you can be sure you’re in for a long evening. If you have a habit of unabashedly sneezing or coughing without covering your mouth, do yourself a favor; kick it.

For you to develop swagger (the successful, winning attitude; not the ghetto, smack talk kind), you must first understand the importance of manners. A man with manners thinks before he acts. He is conscious of what he says and what he does.

Many of us take for granted our “thank you” and “please” and “welcome”. We think it is okay for us to omit these words of appreciation, because we think that the other party knows it anyway. Yet, unspoken words remain as such. If you don’t communicate your appreciations, she doesn’t know you feel that way.

It comes as no surprise to us that popular culture has referred these words as “the magic words”. Indeed, it can do wonders for you if you know better than to isolate them in your everyday conversations.

Think back to the time a senior colleague of yours thanked you for your efforts. Or the time your boss asked for a favor politely and he said “please”. Immediately, you gain respect for these people, because they are well mannered. You spring into action and you try to meet his request, before you can’t wait for your boss’ thank you.

Now, imagine the kind of respect YOU can garner from your fellow colleagues.

Simple gestures such as holding the door and passing a pair of scissors by holding the blade in your hands can go a long way. Indeed, these are trivial acts that can often go unnoticed. But once someone fails to adhere to it, an outrage ensues.

“Are you FREAKING trying to stab me with the scissors?”

Whether it is at a workplace or in school, everyone likes a cultivated colleague or friend. A man with swagger uses the magic words lavishly, and he strikes others with a good impression. People are more likely to take notice of you when you appear to be well-mannered.

We thank you for the time in reading this piece.

How to save money without anyone knowing

2009-05-04T20:35:00.000-07:00

The ramifications of the economy downturn are hitting all of us hard. It’s like a bitch slap in the face. Even the most prudent of us are running dry on money. We are curbing our expenses and selling our Prada on eBay. You’re even contemplating selling your used underwear to satisfy the pervasions of other man or woman. Hey, desperate times call for desperate measures right?

Before you start scraping for morsel sized chicken nugget samples at the grocery store, relax. And breathe. The world is not ending. You still need to do your part to rev the economy. We still need spending power. You don’t need to reduce yourself to being a hobo.

In the past, the act of spending frivolously has been associated with swagger. Not us. We don’t think it’s very success-like to be begging people for loans when you need to pay off your debts. Or being evicted from your house. Or having to file for bankruptcy.

Here’s Swagger Essentials’ tips on how you can still save while spending!

1) Two words, three syllabuses, one grand design.

Office Claims. And so you cash your check and your bank account is looking up again. You have the urge to splurge and you’re resisting it hard. Here enters the grand design of working into the picture. Your boss asks you to run some errands and you end up spending a few hundred on office supplies.

The thought of spending on something that is not yours to begin with is nauseating. But think of it this way. It is a GREAT savings plan. The more you have to fork out, the less you have remaining. In turn, you have less to spend on your own white elephants. Not to mention it is always a pleasant sight to see that amount of claims added to your next pay check. It’s like getting a pay raise. Cheap thrills.

Best of all, you can cash that credit card while making the payment. You receive all the complimentary reward points for spending zero dollars. Earn enough and you can even exchange your points for a new stereo system.

Now, that’s smart saving.

2) Make your own lunch, not pack it.

We all know the dangers of lunches. You order a meal, and then a drink to go with it and dessert comes thereafter. Someone wants to share a snack with you, and you agree, thinking it’s great way to save! Next thing you know, you have spent $15 on a meal.

Yet we all know of the colleague who packs his lunch in a nice little meal box. At a scheduled time of the day, he heats it up using the office’s microwave. This goes on every day, without fail. Sometimes he just eats it as it is. We don’t know whether to applaud his efforts or to feel sorry.

How do we put it delicately? Packed lunch? Not swagger. On the scale of desperation, it is packed lunch, and then selling your underwear on eBay. At least you’re not airing your dirty laundry at lunch time.

Instead, make your own lunch. You don’t need to be a certified gourmet chef; we are not our worst critics when it comes to food we prepared ourselves. So bring your own ham, tomato and bread to work!

And don’t worry. Your colleagues’ prying eyes are not a concern. They will probably quip about your healthy lifestyle. They might even follow suit. If not, jokingly offer to make them a sandwich – and at a price.

Who knows, they might even pay you!

3) Sign up with a savings plan, PRONTO!

Take the money out even before you see it! We know how it feels; being bereft of the right to spend. You curse us for persuading you into signing a savings plan.

But savings plan are almost fool-proof. You need not worry about the bearish market. You earn a lump sum of money just by sitting on your money! It is like having a vasectomy. All the benefits with NO fuss! Take it out and you’ll be thankful later.

4) Don’t be fooled by installments!

Marketers have a way of sucking us in. They use seemingly low prices to entice us into making a transaction. Been eyeing that sofa couch for ages? Just pay $120 per month and it’s yours. At first look, it’s a great deal. Just paying that $120 means you can afford to buy more with your budget per month.

Go find that calculator and key in these figures. $120, the multiply sign, 48. You end up paying up to three times the cost price of the couch. It is just not worth the money! Besides, do you really want to keep paying for something you would throw out in the next 2 years?

Celebrities that don't have swagger

2009-05-04T20:34:00.000-07:00

We know we have been inundating you with tips on how to develop swagger. Let’s face it, it’s always easier said than done. You might even find swagger to be an elusive mindset. “It will never be me!”

If you say that, then, naturally, you will never have swagger. But the start of an uphill climb is always the toughest. So, we thought we should break the monotony of all things good and bring you a special edition of …

… Celebrities that DON’T have swagger

They’re gross, they’re vile. If you don’t have an idea of what swagger is, it’s fine. Just don’t EVER end up like these celebrities. And we do use the term “celebrity” loosely.

1) Kevin Federline

We know, we know. He’s past news. We know, we know. Too many jabs have been delivered to this poor bloke. But his name conjures to mind when we are researching. We will unabashedly admit: we envy him; he gets alimony from you-know-who, so he gets to laze around and still be rich. What privileged lifestyle, aye?

Why the thumbs down: We don’t know what his parents told him, but you don’t just decide to drop all of your life just because Britney Spears comes knocking on your door. Already a father out of wedlock, this is not a responsible thing to do. Oh! Not to mention, he had just impregnated the SAME girlfriend with his goods before he took off. So when he was flying around town with arguably the biggest pop star in the world, his girlfriend was home, preparing for her second pregnancy all by herself.

What a wiener.

And don’t get us wrong. We’re all for hopes and dreams and aspirations. We think tenacity is a very important trait in life. But only when you are meant to do what it is you think you should be doing. And for Federline, it is not singing. Sorry. We meant, rambling. Sorry, we meant rapping.

If your rapping career begins with you labeling yourself as “America Most hated” in your lyrics, it’s pretty much done.

Knowing your weaknesses and your limitations are important if you wish to succeed in life. If you keep flopping miserably, you are just wasting your time. Move on to another project or pursue another talent.

If you need to try TOO hard at developing swagger, something’s wrong.

Bad economy or good economy, we will never pay to see him.

2) Amy Winehouse

The UK singer has a mesmerizing voice that makes you wonder: was that a man or a woman? That is why we are all hooked on her mega hit, Rehab. It brings out the defiant rebel in us too! We tell the world you don’t get to tell us what to do when we sing the song out loud.

Why the thumbs down: But we wish someone would put her in rehab. Anyone who just left Mars would never have guessed that this monstrous looking woman was once a 5 time Grammy award winner. In between drugs, altercations and bailing on scheduled performances, Amy Winehouse has lost herself. And a tooth.

We are genuinely scared out of our wits when we see pictures of her coming at us in a skimpy bra. Long periods of drug use have debilitated the singer’s health. And it shows; you just need want to handle all her pictures delicately because you’re so afraid the pictures would break, like her bones.

It’s a waste of talents, really. We always feel that when you have so much influence and power that come with being a celebrity, you should use that to do good. Inspire your fans to be a better person; inspire the people around you to tap into their talents.

When you run around looking like a crazy woman, you are sending a message to your impressionable fans that it’s okay to follow suit. That it’s okay to assault a cop and that it’s okay to do drugs.

And we have a problem with that.

3) Chris Brown

One of the most promising celebrities of the millennium, this RnB crooner used to be quite the teenage heartthrob. With impressive titles of songwriter, dancer, singer and performer to his name, we were quite envious of this young talent. His songs were burning up the Billboard charts, and many adulated his talent.

Were, being the operative word.

Why the thumbs down: In news that shook the entire music industry, 19 year old Chris Brown was charged with assault for hitting Rihanna. And not in a sexual, SM fetish kind of way. In this day and age of technology, it wasn’t long before pictures of a bruised Rihanna surfaced. And she was in a pretty bad shape.

A good man will NEVER hit a woman. Young boys and men take note. We don’t know if we can ever look at Chris with the same kind of envy anymore. Now we have nothing but disdain.

So he made a mistake and had sought forgiveness. Shouldn’t we forgive him? We should absolve him, after all he’s just 19, no?

No. Not long after the unfortunate incident, he was seen partying at clubs, and even enjoyed a holiday in Barbados. Now we hear he’s back with an ex girlfriend. We don’t know who is dumber; ex girlfriend or George W Bush.

We understand the need for escapism, but if you are truly sorry for what you have done, a little feel-good-time is the least of your priorities. It makes it harder for us to forget the incident.

A man or woman with swagger doesn’t resort to violence. Remember that.

4) Lindsay Lohan

She used to be the apple of our eye. She was 15 and had a lot going for her. Who can forget her cute performance in Mean Girls? Her little freckles made her personable and we warmed up to her. Fans of chick flicks we are not, but there is something so pleasant about her movies.

Why the thumbs down: If only her life was a movie we were watching. The 23 year old has been embroiled in a string of controversies thereafter. First, she was straight, and then she was a lesbian. Before you know, she’s straight again. Pick a side, woman! You give all the gays a bad name.

She became the face of a party girl. Often seen with a cigarette in hand, many would think of her as the poster girl for swagger. We don’t. Young people have a warped mindset of what is hip and cool.

What’s definitely not cool is she now faces criminal charges stemming from a previous DUI. Once, she passed out in the front seat of her car. It wasn’t a very flattering sight. Ever since, she sobered up and got back to working again. We had such high hopes for her.

It wasn’t soon before reports of her being fired off the set of Ugly Betty came to light. We can’t help but question her professionalism. Recent paparazzi footages that surfaced depicted her losing her mind after she thought she lost girlfriend Samantha Ronson.

When you let external factors like fame get to your head, things can spiral out of control. Once a revered celebrity, soon you’ll be a tabloid figure of the past.

Woman of Colour, Woman of Quality: Oprah Winfrey

2009-05-04T20:33:00.000-07:00

In our weekly edition of “Women of color, woman of quality”, we bring you the names of inspiring women who have effected a change in our lives. These women are beautiful, mightily successful and they work their way to stardom. We adulate these women for who they are!

Oprah Winfrey

“When Oprah speaks, people listen”

Born: January 29 1954

Her story: Collectively named as one of the most influential celebrities by Time, CNN and Forbes, Oprah has an amassed worth of $2.7 billion. The successful TV anchor not only has a highly-syndicated talk show, but a magazine, website, book and radio channel all to her name. By 2011, her talk show would have been running for a quarter of a century.

Yet, her life hasn’t always been a bed of roses. She was born into poverty and was under the care of her grandmother. She was the victim of a heinous crime; child sexual abuse and she ran away from home at the age of 13. She became pregnant a year later, but her baby did not survive.

Fast forward a couple of years. Oprah became the youngest and the first black anchor at her local TV network. Her popularity soon propelled when she took over the helm of a Chicago talk show. Despite her lack of experience in TV journalism, Oprah still managed to captivate the hearts of many. With her chirpy yet down to earth personality, she soon became a celebrity to watch.

Why Her:

If Oprah isn’t a role model, we don’t know who is.

Undaunted by the immense media attention, Oprah first used her fame to bring light to social issues such as child abuse. In an unprecedented move, she shared shocking revelations of her abusive past with the audience. And that’s the thing about Oprah. If someone else had pulled such an antic, we would have thought of it as a publicity stunt. But not Oprah; she was always genuine.

She isn’t just a host with a glib tongue. She is personable and her words carry a lot of weight. She is always heartfelt. Tyra, take note. Good hosting takes more than just fluttering of your eye lids.

For someone of her success, she is surprisingly candid when it comes to talking about her own problems. She always has had weight issues, and while she has managed to keep a trim figure, she publicly admits that she has fallen off the wagon in recent times. Instead of running away from her own demons, she is determined to fight them.

She attributed her weight issues to a deeper problem; self worth. She related that she didn’t have much to begin with, and was at the constant mercy of her past boyfriends. It is hard to imagine that someone of her status would be perturbed by such emotional problems.

To see someone from a humble and troubled beginnings catapult to fame is nothing short of awe-inspiring.

She is a woman of actions. She isn’t afraid to stand up for what she believes in, even if the subject matter is taboo and controversial. She is a lobbyist for gay rights, and she daringly invites open gay celebrities onto her show. She is an active voice against domestic violence and violence against woman.

While refusing to pass judgment on the recent Chris Brown-Rihanna fiasco, she sends an important message to young impressionable girls: if a man hits you, he will hit you again.

A woman with a heart of gold, she is active in her charitable efforts. Hailed as the most philanthropic celebrity, Oprah has to date, donated more some $300 million from her own fortune. She established the Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy for Girls in South Africa, making education a reality for girls who led an impoverished life.

Not many successful people are willing to talk about their insecurities and afflictions. Pride and ego can sometimes get in our way. We can draw a lesson from her.When we swallow our pride and reach out to others, we sometimes get the help we need. Even by the simple act of reaching out, we help others seek solace when they realize they are not alone. A true measure of one’s success is not just in his material possessions.

She sets an exemplary example to all of us. There is no shame in admitting defeat. Remember, it is not how hard you fall, but how high you bounce back from it. A person with swagger always finds a way to come out of his predicaments!

Fantasy Swagger

2009-05-04T20:32:00.000-07:00

They are powerful, they are dandy. They are our larger than life super heroes. Whether it is their calling or their abilities that empower them, these folks speak with a sense of urgency. They have a mission and they succeed through perseverance. They have what we call SWAGGER. We would be best friends with them if they lived in our time.

And yes, this is for all the geeks out there!

1) Gandalf

From: The Lord of the Rings

Actor: Ian Mckellen

Best Scene ever: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nrqd7NhZ1gM&fmt=18]

Why him: Forget Aragorn. If it wasn’t for Gandalf, Sauron would not have been defeated. Gandalf was instrumental in orchestrating the Frodo and the One ring quest. Even though he had a lot on his plate, he still managed to succeed in all of his endeavors. He set off to find the Rohirrim when they left Theoden and ultimately led them to victory. He rode to Minas Tirith and assumed the role of the Commander in the greatest battle known to Middle Age.

Even when he was second in power in the hierarchy of White Order, he was a righteous Grey wizard. He knew what had to be done. He held to his beliefs of wrong and right, and wasn’t afraid to stand up to Saruman even when he was less powerful.

We wept when he fell into the abyss with the Balrog. We wept because for all of his intelligence and wisdom, he was also personable. He was down to earth and he always had a way with words. He knew how to comfort those in need. A successful person is not always the most ruthless and unscrupulous one, but one who cares about the people around him.

Good always triumph and he rose again. Let us just point out how a little makeover can go a long way. The frail, unkempt Gandalf the Grey was no more. In comparison, we have a clean, well-groomed Gandalf the White. Immediately, his presence towers over the rest of us.

We draw some lessons from this: You don’t need all the swag in the world to garner attention. Just pay attention and put a little effort into grooming yourself.

He is a man with a plan. He is always ten steps ahead of the rest of his Fellowship. He is like the Grandpa we never had.

2) Hermione Granger

From: Harry Potter

Actress: Emma Watson

Smartest scene ever: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5hQG4uJCTw]

Why her: Right from the start, Hermione was portrayed as a know-it-all Hogwart student. She knew all the answers and well, not many people liked that about over-achievers. She is one of the smartest female characters we have seen in a while. Not only was she hard working, she was perceptive as well. She is always the one who is mastering the plans. More often than not, it is her who leads the trio to victory.

If we had it our way, we would have named the series Hermione Granger and the ….

It is not easy having to be the grown up and stand up to a group of pubescent boys and swaying them in the right direction. And that is what we love about Hermione.

In this day and age where women are more than happy to objectify themselves, Hermione isn’t afraid to be who she is. Instead of down playing her intelligence and becoming what the others want her to be, she rises to the occasion every time. She is not afraid to get into a feud with the boys. She doesn’t feel the need to fit in because she knows what she is doing is right.

Whether she’s fighting trolls or righting wrong, this girl has guts! And all the women out there should take a page from this coming-of-age lady. Stand up for yourself, and do not be afraid to be labeled a bitch if you know what you know in your heart, you’re right.

3) Wolverine

From: X Men

Actor: Hugh Jackman

Best Tribute ever: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZT1f8jteRBg]

Why him: Long before hip hop artistes decided to adorn themselves with bling bling, Wolverine already had a penchant for cold alloy adamantium metal. We even think he started the whole trend and obsession with bling bling!

With enhanced physical capabilities and animal-keen senses, Wolverine is one force to be reckoned with. Yet, in spite of his brutish nature, he manages to keep his beast within at bay. He suppresses his rage and doesn’t go around preying on others. Boy, don’t we all wish our jerk-of-a-boss would take heed too?

He chooses the side of good and puts the lives of the innocent before his. Not that he could get hurt anyway; he had healing powers. What we wouldn’t give for that. He puts his vast knowledge to good use and can speak a number of foreign languages.

Tapered and smart; women find that to be a rare find. He is a great catch. So fellas, while you are busily pumping iron into your body and admiring his muscular build (in a non-erotic way), take note. It is not his physique that is oozing sexiness. Knowledge is power and a man with power is sexy.

So start reading and dedicate as much time hitting the library as much as you hit the gym. Trust us; you definitely want some brains to go along with the brawn.

Pop Female Singers with Swagger

2009-04-30T19:39:00.003-07:00

Women. We are all fascinated by them. Whether it is the clothes they wear or the words they speak, they pique our curiosity. Whether you are a hormonal frat boy, flamboyant gay man who just want to be like them, smart career woman, or straight up feminist, these leading ladies have style, attitude and confidence that appeal to you. Their charm is irresistible and their personality inspiring.

Here are Swagger Essentials’ picks for Pop Female Singers with Swagger. We worship the ground they walk.

p!nk September 8, 1979

Most notable quote: “It’s about being alive and feisty and not sitting down and shutting up even though people would like you to”

Best line ever: “But it’s alright, I don’t give a damn. I don’t play your rules, I make my own. Tonight, I do what I want, cuz’ I can”

Whether she’s dangerously singing off a trapeze or goofing around backstage, p!nk is one lady you can’t stop watching. From her daring hairstyle to her quirky personality, p!nk oozes swagger like no other. She is not defined by societal standards, and that’s why we love her.

Why she qualifies: Even since she exploded onto the music scene, p!nk has been touted as the tough chick around. She is probably the smartest of all her counterparts. Instead of singing fluff songs about having crushes on boys and giving sexual favours, she asks boys to pleasure themselves because they ain’t getting any from her. And if you haven’t heard her song, “Dear Mr. President”, an ‘ode’ to Mr. George W Bush, do yourself a favour and check it out.

We also love her recent monstrous hit, So What. And while this is a vengeful break up song, we like to think of it as our anthem. When our bosses are breathing down the throat, we secretly play the song in our head.

“So, so what? I’m still a rock star! I’ve got my rock moves and I don’t need you!!!” This line resonates with us the best. When life gets us down, do we spend our time moping and wallowing in rancour? No! We face up to the challenges and we dust off our problems. We continue living the life we want to.

That’s swagger. That’s success.

And hey, when you are smart enough to do a song about Stupid Girls, you’re on our cool list.

Britney Spears December 2, 1982

Most notable quote: I would like to be called an inspiration to people, not a role model - because I make mistakes like everybody else. When I'm offstage, I'm just like everybody else.

Best line ever: “It’s Britney, bitch”

She is the most photographed woman in the world. Every move of hers is documented, and she is living proof it’s not easy living the life of a spectacle. After a very public debacle, Britney Spears has risen from the ashes, and is now the shining phoenix we once loved.

Why she qualifies: While an unlikely choice; she doesn’t have the strongest vocals and the last time she sang live was probably in 2004, Britney is still selling out her Circus tour, gathering the support of the harshest critics. When you can sell out your concert without even singing one word, we're sold.

We have all read about her shady past and her constant battles. But even the most powerful person makes mistake. And that is what makes Britney personable.

And it takes a lot of guts to make a comeback when you have derailed so far off. After what she’s been through, it takes confidence to stand once again in the scrutiny of the masses. And we draw our inspiration from that.

Swagger is never letting the opinions of others get to you. Swagger is about believing in yourself and never backing down in the face of adversities. If you think you’re meant to do something in life, go all out and pursue it!

Lady Gaga March 28, 1986

Most notable quote: “You can’t have love and success. But that doesn’t bother me because I don’t want love, I want my music. I’m married to my art. You can only marry one man, so I’m married to my art”

Best line ever: “Check this hand cuz’ I’m marvellous”

With two consecutive Billboard number 1 hits on her hands, you must have heard of this 23 year old lady (gaga). The Just Dance singer first came to eminence playing at local clubs and malls, where she performed for many nights. So unlike other female celebrities we know (*cough* Paris Hilton *cough*), she didn’t have fame handed to her. She worked hard just like anyone of us and that is why she deserves the success.

Why she qualifies: It’s hard to miss Lady Gaga when she’s out rolling in the bustling roads of New York. The horde of paparazzi heralds her presence. Yet, she doesn’t need any extra fanfare. Lady Gaga just isn’t afraid to don on the weirdest outfits, so much so that you feel like it’s freaking Halloween whenever you see her candid pictures.

Whether she’s parading around in a leotard or taping a plaster across her nipple, Lady Gaga wears what she wants to. While many continue to frown disparagingly at her choice of clothes, you gotta give props to Lady Gaga for having the courage to be different.

And she isn’t being different just because it’s a way to be noticed. She wants to be different because she wants to be. And we celebrate her for that.

Madonna, August 16, 1958

Most notable quote: “I'm tough, ambitious, and I know exactly what I want. If that makes me a bitch, okay”

Best line ever: “You’re only here to win, get what they do”

If you don’t know Madonna, we really don’t know where the hell you have been the past 20 years. Long before the fore-mentioned ladies were even conceived, Madonna was already pushing boundaries and making headlines. We have to say we remember Madonna as the icon of our generation

Why she qualifies: She never takes no for an answer. She releases a Sex book to shut the critics up. Now, that’s the difference between a feminist and a porn star. She thinks before she speaks her mind, and that is why she has charisma.

The best way to get over a divorce? Hop on the cougar wagon and date younger men. It is a holy matrimony; the pairing of Madonna and her newest toy boy, Jesus. Hey! Who are we to judge if their relationship is indeed mutual?

Madonna constantly redefines social meanings, very much like how we redefine Swagger. And we can only hope we will still be jumping around and possess her kind of energy when we turn 50.

Check this space for our pick for Top Male celebrities with Swagger!

Balling on a budget, the SWAGGER way

2009-04-29T08:10:00.000-07:00

So you went against your better judgment and you blew your salary on that $4000 Gucci leather bag. The kind of bag which emits the smell of the last species of an animal forced into extinction. Or you might have made a check payout on that Aston Martin DB 9 car even though your 2008 Lamborghini Gallardo was still banging, and in all sense of the word.

It happens! We all want to look good; we want to splurge a little (okay, a LOT) for all the hard work we’ve put in. We try our damnest to impress our exes and we want them to beg for our love again.

And you know that with each new acquisition comes a new friend. So it’s time to take the big guy and the dead out for a spin. You’re embarrassed by your limited cash flow. Yet, there is no parking lot big enough for an Aston Martin at a mall and your Gucci bag is not meant to come into contact with plywood.

But you can’t wait for your assets to meet your material friends. Don’t worry. Swagger Essentials will provide you with tips on How To Ball on a Budget – With Swagger.

1) Membership

Membership privileges give you all the perks you will ever need. Be it discounts or reward points, you are bound to reap the benefits of spending frugally. Having a membership with a fancy restaurant or retail shop is also a novelty. The waiters and sales persons address you by your first name. You are treated like royalty.

All this time while spending on a budget.

2) Happy hours

Twice the fun, two times less than the price. What better bargain can you ask for? With free flow of beer, alcohol and snacks, you can bring on the partying without a worry for your tabs. Let your inhibitions run free! Party like a rock star!

Psst: Just be sure to exit right before the promotion ends.

3) Cash that credit card

We have financial advisors breathing down our throats now. We know that many people have landed huge debts due to over-spending. We’ve caught Confessions of a Shopaholic. But credit cards are not the problem; frivolous spending is. And you will not fall into the deadly trap, because you are a person of swagger. You think before you act.

Banks have tie-in promotions with big names franchises and cashing your credit cards gives you access to these privileges. Besides, when you fish out that card right out of your wallet, you can be sure your vulture friends will gleam in envy.

4) Buffets

One of our favorite 7 deadly sins, gluttony, is going to help us in our quest to spend on a budget. A buffet meal helps to curb any future expenditure. We need not point out the obvious; food and drinks are taken care of. And dessert is aplenty, so you need not spend any more money on sweet delights.

After-dinner activities? Your friends will be too floated from the gorging that they won’t even be able to move an inch! That means the decision to catch movies will be scraped. That means you get to keep to your budget, again.

You drive them home in your Aston Martin and they will thank you for your good deed.

So there you have it, living on a budget the SWAGGER way.

For HER: How to work your way through a man's heart

2009-04-27T07:09:00.000-07:00

For HER: Working your way through a man’s heart

So ladies, you’re out on a fun night with your girlfriends and you happen to bump into your ex high school crush in a cafe. Age has been kind to this man. He retains his swagger, his good looks and he is the center of the attention Yet, he doesn’t even look your way; he has his back facing you.

You excitedly consult your girlfriends and they give you the green light. You begin to mull over a couple of things. Is it okay if I approach him first? What would the world think of me?

Remember ladies, one of the best advantages you have is the upper hand. That is just God’s way of rewarding you for all that you need to endure. Even if your antic doesn’t work out, onlookers will still adulate you for your guts. Men don’t have it that easy; people just laugh at them for their vain efforts.

And this is the 21st century. Women have fought hard for their rights, and the men are listening. Women have proposed to their boyfriends. So if you are interested in someone, take charge! Some men will not appreciate your straight forwardness, so, it’s no loss! They aren’t the ones who are going to appreciate your success in your career anyway.

Men are pleasantly surprised when women make the first moves. And they welcome it. It’s refreshing to meet a lady who is self confident. Truth be told, many men out there whine about how their girlfriends don’t have an opinion.

“What do you want to eat?”

“I’ll have whatever you’re having!”

B-O-R-I-N-G

Yet of course, you don’t want to come on too strongly when approaching a man. Walking up to a guy and telling him drinks’ on you is not a good tactic. Men have something called ego, after all. The trick to hook a man is to be subtle. Let him know you’re interested and let him do the heavy lifting.

1) Make eye contact
Exchanging flirtatious glances is a sure way to get him to approach you. Steal a look, then look away, and then look at him again to let him know you’re watching him.

Men love to take on new conquests, and they prefer to take on sure-win conquests. Hey, it’s all about their pride. When you drop hints that you are interested too, you boast his confidence level. He then walks over and introduces himself.
It seems as if they’ve made the first move, but really, you made it happen.

2) Flash that million dollar smile

There’s nothing more beautiful than a genuine smile. When you are sulking and putting on an aloof front, it only tells the men to STAY CLEAR. Yet when you wear your best smile, you appear warm and friendly to the others.

Look at every female magazine and you’ll see that most models are smiling on the cover pages. A nice smile radiates elegance and poise. It gives the guy a feeling that you’re at ease with yourself. You’re not finding fault with anything.

The only model who doesn’t smile is Victoria Beckham. And we always feel like we could stuff her in a bag and put her away.

Of course by that, we don’t mean for you to smile for an entire hour. Just make sure when you’re looking in his way, you’re smiling.

3) Breaking the ice

Supposed he came over to you and bought you a drink. You two hit it off at once, and within 5 minutes, you already know that he is a real estate agent, he is the youngest of 3 brothers and he lives alone. Your mind is now rummaging through a list of plausible topics.

While it’s true that (heterosexual) men spend a great amount of time watching sports and seeking enlightenment on the latest gadgets, you don’t have to bore yourself with topics of such. Unless you have vast knowledge on the subject matter, he isn’t going to stay interested in the conversation if you are only trying to keep up with him.

Besides, you don’t want him to see you as his “buddy”, do you?

Instead, discuss at length recent news or the latest movies he watched. Don’t breathe down his throat if he doesn’t seem to know who Lady Gaga is. Sing to him the chorus of Poker Face. He would probably go, “Oh! That’s the song!”
He will be glad he learnt something new today and he have you to thank.

4) Compliments, compliments, compliments

If you decide to make the first move and approach the man of your fantasies, remember one word, three syllabuses. Compliments. Men LOVE compliments; in fact, they thrive on it. Compliments are the best way to get him to notice you. Well, that and cleavage.

Be generous with your praises but of course, mean it. “That’s a great shirt you have on. It accentuates your build!” doesn’t exactly work on an overweight guy. And if the conversation goes well, and if you find yourself enjoying yourself, tell him he’s a great conversationalist.

When you give compliments, you exude swagger. It shows that you’re a self assured person!

For HIM: How to Approach A Woman

2009-04-27T07:07:00.000-07:00

For HIM: How to approach a woman

So your eyes meet with the most gorgeous woman in the room and the innocent glance sets your body temperature ablaze. The attraction is fatal; the rise of Johnny Junior tells you so. Ten other horny dogs are chatting her up, but you know she’s interested in you. That smile is unmistakeable.

Just how do you approach a woman you don’t know? You have no common grounds, and you don’t know if that smile she flashed was REALLY an approving one. Perhaps she was smiling at you because you had sauce on your mouth. Or she was really smiling at the guy standing behind you.

Breathe in swagger, breathe out swagger. Self doubt isn’t going to get you anywhere. Whether you’re interested in seeing her forever or seeing her one night naked in bed, you have got to make that move. Doesn’t matter if she rejects you; you can just walk away with swagger. Who knows, she might even come back to you after she realizes what a good sport you are.

If you decide to take the plunge, here are some tips you can keep in mind.

How to Approach A Woman the Swagger Essentials way.

1) Drop the cheesy pick up lines. Case in point: “You must be a thief because you stole my heart”
Whatever happened to good old fashion basic courtesy? Imagine if someone came up to you and said you had the most beautiful eyes any mother could ask for. Naturally, you jump to high defence mode because that is typical creepy stalker behaviour.

It might work in romantic comedy movies, where the male antagonist swoons over the female character with his tongue in cheek lines. But that is just fantasy. You’re more likely to be given a snub when you open with pick up lines.

Instead, formally introduce yourself. A simple hello is your best opening line. Jerry Mcguire, anyone? A man with natural swagger doesn’t need gimmicks to make an impression!

2) Create your own circumstances

So your target is surrounded by a pack of wolves. You think it’s better if you wait it out; wait for your chance and pull her aside. The night goes on and the other beasts come out and play. You should know best that men feed on ego. Their balls get bigger when the stakes are higher. If they see a crowd forming, that’s where they will be.

Be an opportunist! Nothing impresses a lady than a man with confidence. Women are attracted to men who are natural leaders. If you can swoop right in the middle of a conversation and then lead from there on, you can be sure her eyes will be on you.
It’s your chance to show the other men who is boss.

3) Sustaining her attention on you

Now that you have gotten her attention, it is imperative that you sustain it. Women are unlike men; they have a longer attention span. They are likely to fake a smile even when they’re not interested in your topic. Of course, there is a limit to that threshold and you will do well not to cross it.

How not to make a fool out of yourself? Keep to familiar territory when conversing. Personal experiences are best topics, unless of course you intend on telling a fabricated story about how you survived the Iraq war. Personal experiences help to paint a story and they sell your personality.

“I help out at the orphanage every weekend or whenever I can. The people there, their life stories are just so inspiring”

Even if your lady is not hooked, we are.

While it is swagger-like to be opinionated, you walk a precarious line when you try to impress your lady with your opinions. It might even turn out to be a bull fight when you’re trying to defend your opinions against the other gentlemen. What started out as a pleasant evening soon became a night of political extremist talk.
You’re not going to get your lady that way.

4) Look up, not down
Sure, her plunging neckline dress leaves little for imagination. We’re all dogs; we sneak a peek whenever we can. The average hooker might find your curiosity arousing. But not our woman of dignity; you might even find yourself to be the receiver of a very tight slap.

Let us break it down for you, aye? When you’re staring at her breasts, these things happen.

3.1) You get distracted.
“Err. Sure, I think Obama has great boobs!”
3.2) You get an erection. And erections in pants are the most uncomfortable.
3.3) It has been scientifically proven that men cannot multitask. So, you try to look away but you can’t. You begin to slur your words because your speech nerves are not functioning too well.

All these don’t constitute to swagger.

5) Asking for her number

So you managed to get the lady to notice you and you even managed to squeeze a couple of laughs out of her. You kept your eyes off her boobs as we have advised, and you felt the electrifying tension. You have ironed out the competition too!

It’s time to break for the night, and of course, you want to see this lady again. If she feels the same way, she would readily provide you with the number. Yet sometimes, you need to nudge her a little into doing so. This is where perseverance comes in.

Sell yourself just a little bit more. Reflect on your ‘performance’; if you have been a funny guy, remind her of that. And well, if you have been the best looking out of all the others, kid about how you’re the best looking guy.
The ladies like a little cockiness; not a lot, just a little and that is the only reason why they say “size doesn’t matter”.

Whatever the outcome, thank her for the lovely night and see her home. Because that’s what a gentleman would do.

Articulating well on your first date

2009-04-24T17:47:00.000-07:00

Going on a first date can be intimidating. For the ladies, you probably change out of your outfit at least three times because your tummy shows when you’re sitting. For the gentlemen, you worry if you would blow your budget. And you worry that your date won’t be returning the favor at the end of the night.

Of course, these are the least of your concerns. Your feelings toward your date are genuine and not hormonal. You dress to impress, and you make you have all the swag you need. Reservations are made at the most exquisite restaurant. The waiter has come and is gone, and now you have to make a meaningful conversation.

The moment has come to put your charisma to test. The topic on foie gras has already been touched on. You realize your good looks are of no use now. Personality actually counts as a quality now! “Am I going to say the wrong thing?”

Fret not. Swagger Essentials is here to coach you on how to speak well.

Now remember, our definition of “swagger” is different from that of the dictionary. We make swagger to be a positive thing. So, we don’t shoot off our mouths and think we’re cool for speaking our mind.

To us, speaking with swagger is to speak with confidence, and occasionally if not always, you make some sense. To us, the charismatic guy around is President Obama Barrack and not so much Lil’ Wayne.

When Obama speaks, we listen. It’s not because he is the President and has a crazy amount of authority over us. We don’t snooze like we do when John Mccain speaks. Obama’s words ring like music to us and his undue amount of charisma makes us go gay, I mean, gaga, over him.

Michelle Obama is certainly the epitome of charisma for the women. From her great smile to her elegant poise, her swagger charms us. She has a disposition that makes you want to bring her home to Mama, because you know Mama will approve. Her undue amount of charisma makes us go gay, I mean, gaga, over her.

You too can have charisma like our first black President and his wife. Of course, at this point in time, we are not going to groom you into becoming a political speaker. We will tell you the dating faux pas to avoid, and how to charm the socks off your dates with your mouth.

No, not that technique. That is for a later topic.

NEVER

1) Tell a rehearsed joke.

Humor falls flat when it is rehearsed. Instead of focusing your attention on your date, you’re waiting for a good time to bring forth the jokes. Your mind is not registering whatever he/she says, because you are waiting to ambush your date.

Not only will your joke be not funny, you would have missed out on crucial personal information, such as financial wealth and sexual fetishes.

And you aggravate the situation by explaining your joke.

“You see my point? Foie gras? Tongue? Frenching? It’s like I’m frenching a duck?”

And you get increasingly nervous because your date is looking at you in a disdainful manner.

Instead of trying too hard, make a harmless joke whenever the situation allows you to. Mispronounce the dish’s name if you like; just be sure to follow up with the right pronunciation to let him/her know you’re joking. You don’t want your date to think you’re dumb.

2) Talk about an unfamiliar topic

Just because you’re seeing a financial analyst doesn’t mean you now have to wax lyrical about the economy. You begin inputting your two cents worth just because you took a peek at the news headline.

“Oh yeah, Obama ‘bare-rack’ really shouldn’t have done that.”

“What shouldn’t he have done?”

“You know, that thing … with the …. tax revenue…? ”

Stammering is not cool. It is the complete opposite of swagger.

Remember, swagger is about being who you are. You don’t have to pretend to be interested in finances if you are not. It is your date you are interested in. Ask about his exciting moments working as a financial analyst. Get her advice on managing YOUR finances.

3) Trash talk (about your boss, exes, your Mom, anyone)

Swagger is all about keeping cool. So imagine your look when you’re going on relentlessly about your bitch of a superior who gives you hell. You’re radiating a lot of fiery heat. And in a heat of moment, you lose your ability to speak coherently.

“I mean ... She’s just so … I don’t know if I can say whether she’s like, you know, psychotic, because she has absolutely, definitely go to be one!”

Besides, it is not swagger-like to get worked up over things. It feels better to be angry, no doubt, but if you want to possess swagger, you need to take things in your stride. Never let anything, especially the trivial ones, get to you.

4) Swear in front of your date

Even if you are one of those who use double profanities in a sentence every minute of your life.

“Don’t you fucking fuck with me!”
We know, there’s a certain charm about the badass guys. They get the hot chicks, always. They don’t care what the world thinks of them because they live by their own rules. And swagger is all about dropping the act and being yourself, aye?

Yes and no. If you go by the old definition of swagger, then yes. Continue to live a life where everyone you cross pisses you off. Continue to spit on everything that is in your way. Soon, you will find yourself the least popular person around your social circle.

Our definition of swagger is about poise and intelligence. Why limit your vocabularies to profanities? When you can replace the fucking in “This is fucking nice!” with words like extremely and fiendishly, people look to you with incredulous eyes.

People would think, “This is one person worth listening to”.

So you choose between sounding like a 12 year old, or a dignified adult with language proficiency.

Hey, it’s your swagger, after all.

You too can be confident

2009-04-23T16:22:00.000-07:00

For a group of people, swagger comes naturally. It’s almost like an inherent trait; optimistic, helpful and conniving two-faced bitch.

I’m referring to the good looking people. The head-turners. The ones you stutter when in the presence of. Have you ever met a good looking person who hasn’t had swagger? Few, and unlikely. What’s griping is that they don’t even have to try. They have lesser people flock to them and fawn their good looks to no end. People are just in awe of them for no reason.

Sometimes, I get a cheap thrill out of watching modeling pageants. They’re eye candies, no doubt, and they have bodies of steel, but let’s keep the talking out of our conversation. They either have a squeaky voice that doesn’t match the face or they try too hard to be intelligent. You know, the face must match the brains!

Still, they are the envy of many. Economic crisis? No fear! I can just relegate to being a hunk on Deal or No deal, or an air stewardess on Oceanic Flight 815 (what? Nobody’s watching LOST anymore?) Every mistake for them is a learning opportunity and every mistake gets us fired.

They strut instead of walk. The pavement is a runway for them.

What is it that they have that we don’t? Why are the people around me so attracted to them?

No, it’s not terrifically good genes. It’s Confidence.

Confidence attracts others like a magnet. You must have noticed that the most popular guy at the party isn’t necessarily the best looking one. He is the one who is always humoring the others. No, not the clown.

God knows I have spent the last few decades trying to build up my confidence. I’m not exactly a big fan of hers, but plugging “Beautiful” by Christina Aguilera on repeat helps a tiny bit. Of course I think it’s easy for her to preach; she’s pretty like a doll!

What would pretty people know about low self esteem and low confidence level anyway?

My journey hasn’t exactly been a smooth ride. I can feel so good about myself and I can even appear to be charming to those with an acquired taste. I can be a lauded writer, but once I chance upon the Facebook profile of a handsome 23 year old dude, complete with 1436 pictures that depict his very shallow life of late night partying, shirtless beach parties, all of that is shattered.

I can’t hold a candle to a 23 year old who is …. good looking!

Perhaps my perception of what true confidence is wrong. I automatically assume Zac Efron is a confident person. Make that fiendishly confident. None of us would ever imagine a celebrity to suffer from low self esteem.

You must have known by now that my definition of confidence is just skin deep. So if you go by my definition, it’s a black and white situation. Either you’re confident or you’re not. Okay, maybe there is a grey area; cute.

While I know that being pretty to look at definitely gives you an edge, it is self confidence that wins others over. To be fair to them, good looking people remain only as good looking people if they didn’t have confidence too. But they have it easy, that’s all I’m saying.

But I am on the right track to seeking true confidence enlightenment. One of the first steps to building confidence is to first identify your insecurities. I know I’m not great looking; I get “cute” on my best days. I have a choice. I could either get a surgery or I could live with it.

I choose the latter. I can’t afford the former right now.

Ladies, do you feel compelled to wear push-up bras to give your cleavage a tight squeeze? Fellas, are you spending an alarming proportion amount of time in the gym and finding yourself wandering around aimlessly?

Good! You have identified your insecurities and you’re effecting a change in your life. There’s nothing wrong with a little deceit to get you through your days. But true confidence can only be achieved when you dust off your insecurities with a little pad on the shoulders.

“So what if they’re small? At least they’re real!”

And I admire your optimism. We can be confident people too if we bother to take the time to assess ourselves. And it’s not enough if you just address your insecurities.

It is imperative that you know your own strengths. We receive self assurance when we do the things we are great at. Because, let’s face it. When we do great, we receive praises and compliments. And nothing is a better ego-booster than praise and compliment. Your confidence level will rocket.

While it is good to remain humble, always take your compliments whenever you receive one. Share it with your loved ones! Be a rock star. Feel like a rock star.

When you feel like a rock star, be it in school or at work, you double your effort input. Many people neglect this. They go on their lives, never finding the need to tap in their potential. They remain at their desk jobs for years, preferring to work at a safe job.

Playing it safe will never you earn the SWAGGER title!

If you have a knack for basketball but live behind a sheltered life of a librarian simply because you think you don’t have balls the size of your fellow sportsmen, your true potential will never shine through. And talents that are buried remain as such.

If you yourself don’t even know what your strengths are, nobody will. Feel strongly about your strengths! Pun so intended.

The converse is true. Never allow yourself to feel inferior to others. Inferiority can seriously inhibit your confidence. Wallowing in self pity isn’t going to get you anywhere in life.

You could be up for the position of Regional Manager, and you pull out of the running at the last minute when you discover that you would be competing against a fresh University graduate. The size of your balls shrinks when you feel her presence. You think that your bag of experience doesn’t quite match up to her qualifications.

You move two steps back when you decide to feel inferior. Success only happens to those who believe in themselves.

The ladies should be familiar with the last point. For many nights now, you fine ladies have been faking orgasms to increase the confidence level of your husband and boyfriends. Of course, they run off after sex to brag to their buddies just how great they are at pleasuring you. Their ego gets bigger.

If you can fake it for the sake of others, you should fake it for yourself!

Of course, I don’t mean for you to moan at the top of your lungs wherever you go. I want to illustrate just how pretending to be confident can get you to places. It is not about being delusional. It’s not about being a smart aleck and blowing your own trumpet.

It is about believing in yourself.

You gear yourself up to be a confident person and sooner or later, you begin to BELIEVE that you are one. You don’t say no to new challenges. When you find yourself stuck, you have the confidence to ask the next door all-knowing nerd.

And the nerd, choosing to live in recluse, doesn’t get the credit. You become the ultimate go-to person. Can you spell swagger now?

And don’t worry about falling flat on your ass with fake confidence. How do you think those good looking people muster the courage to enter Mr. or Ms Universe contests? Yes, people laugh condescendingly at their efforts, but you will always hear them a sympathetic voice that says, “hey, at least they had the confidence!”

And that, my friend, is swagger.

Become who you were born to be

2009-04-22T08:20:00.001-07:00

Thanks to the prolific use of the word “swagger” in hip hop songs, it is hard to shake off all sexual innuendos of the word. Hence, if I were to say swagger had a lot to do with self awareness, you would probably be examining your precious gems and humps right now.

Concentrate. Put your hands back on your lap.

While it may be true that individuals who are better endowed tend to be cockier, you too can possess swagger if you understood yourself better. Oh, how rude of me to automatically assume you weren’t erm… naturally blessed in that area.

In order to garner attention from others, you first need to focus the attention on yourself. Put away the measuring tape; you have no use for it. Self awareness runs deeper than the physical; it is more than knowing the length of your girth and the size of your jewels.

It is about personal identity. Swagger is about wearing your own attitude. But before you can “wear your own attitude”, you need to KNOW your innate attitude.

Aren’t we all familiar with that guy in school who tries to be ghetto but flops miserably? “Yo, yo, boom boom pow, po po zao!”Oh wait, that’s Kevin Ferdeline. His words sound like he’s rattling off a Chinese takeout menu. Not cool.

We all have that person we want to emulate. A person who epitomizes swagger. But when we try to pick up certain traits and walk a certain way, people catch on to that. Immediately, they know we’re trying to be someone we’re not. Unless your acting is top notch.

The reason why many people try to be someone they’re not is perpetuated by the fear of being socially stereotyped. By association, swagger conjures to mind the Captain of the football team, the Prom Queen and that cheer leading bitch. If you get invited to a frat party, you’re on the C.O.O.L. list!

“I’m not cool if I listened to opera and cried watching Oprah!” “And if my booty isn’t Beyonce-bootylicious, I will never find a boyfriend! And no boyfriend means swagger NOT!”

Self awareness is about knowing who you are. Swagger is about ACCEPTING yourself for who you are.

There is a stigma attached to the school’s nerd who clocks more time at the Science lab than in classes. Or the girl who wants to keep a short hair style. Look at p!nk; she is a role model to many girls; mostly lesbians, yes, but she does what she wants, not what society tells her to.

What’s wrong with being a goody-two-shoes and loving your dinosaur figurines? You could unearth a fossil and well be on your way to being a lauded anthropologist! So what if you’re 20 pounds overweight and have lungs like no others? For all you know, you could be the overweight version of YouTube sensation Susan Boyle.

And perhaps to put things into perspective.

Why people see frat boys and hip hop artistes as the definition of swagger is this. They do not try to be someone they’re not. Frat boys act ludicrously on a daily basis, and they know they are being stupid and hated for that. Do they withhold their antics? Nope. They continue doing what they like!

The ladies of a cheerleading squad probably have their cheers rewritten in their name (and not in a good way) but they don’t back down! They keep on coming back, and they keep bringing us the eights.

Hip hop artistes know they aren’t genius songwriters, and they are unabashed about it. They are not going to pick up violins and play the piano just so people will respect them as music moguls.

And that’s swagger. You don’t ask for it; you earn it.

So quit frontin’. Be who you are today!

Got Swagger?

2009-03-17T12:40:00.000-07:00

Hello Everyone,

How are you doing? Webster's definition of swagger is "to conduct oneself in an arrogant or superciliously pompous manner ; especially : to walk with an air of overbearing self-confidence".
Let take it a little further! I think that SWAGGER or "SWAG" as we like to say is success with attitude and confidence.

Swagger is a state of mind that screams "I know I can", Swagger is definite, regal, persuasive, influential, commanding, sexy, captivating, intriguing, educated, trend setting, stylistic and by default arrogant. Every successful person possesses SWAGGER. From President Obama to Jay Z.

The purpose of this blog is to hear from you; out there. I want to know what you think SWAGGER is, what it takes to get it, and who has it.

PLEASE click on the link below to take a short survey. Thanks, and I look forward to hearing from you.

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=9b97kvNxWeC2oCcJyNG9pw_3d_3d